Dance of Dreams
by thee-dark-enchantress
Summary: It's been 3 years since Edward left Bella just days after her birthday disaster.Now the Cullens are at a prestigious creative arts academy,where they find Bella,changed and unhappy to see them.What suprises will they uncover and will Bella take them back?
1. Rejoining Old Ends

**REPOST! this is an edited (mistakes fixed) version of the first chapter. Nothing huge has been added,just a few words here and there. SORRY**

A/N: hey guys. Another new twilight fanfic. I'm in love with this fanfic. I know, it's my own fanfic so I shouldn't be in love with it, but I am! So yeah…will be writing a lot of this for now, because I love it and it's so easy to write! Hope you enjoy!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (boo hoo!) but I do own any outside story lines, plots, characters, ideas, etc. No Touchy! I also don't own Vampire Knight and the House of Night series (I've nicked off with some of the ideas from both in this story).

Chapter One

-

Rejoining Old Ends

It had been three long years since I left her.

It had been two slow years since I started eating again.

It had been one year since I'd restarted talking to my family and humans.

And it had been exactly 5 minutes and 32 seconds since I'd stopped listening to my sister's insane chattering.

Alice had made it her sole mission to reintegrate me into society, and had decided the best way to do that was to play to my strengths, my creativity, the arts. In other words she was bribing me. She had enrolled us all in a prestigious arts academy, not surprisingly the best in the world, despite the fact that none of my other siblings had a creative talent.

Carlisle had called me to his study last night to discuss the school. Under the impression that he wanted reassurance that returning to school is something I wanted I had easily obliged.

Carlisle had been sitting at his desk when I had entered, writing out a hospital report.

"Sit down Edward." He had said without so much as a glance my way.

I sank into one of the old fashioned red leather and dark wood chairs, waiting for him to talk. He set his pen aside and turned to me, eyes speculating.

"I'm much aware of Alice's enthusiasm to join this academy. I have already assumed that your lack of protest means you're a prepared to go along with it. However I must express my concerns about the location."

I suddenly understood. The academy was in sunny California, and though it was right in the heart of Death Valley, away from the prying eyes of a lot of humans and cities, it was still extremely sunny all day long. It rarely rained and the trees only gave limited coverage.

I rubbed my chin then sighed, "I understand your concern, and I share it. It's dangerous, extremely dangerous. But…well, Alice has her heart set on this school. I don't know why, it's odd, she's had no visions. But she seems so taken by it, she honestly loves the place. I can't say no to her. We'll just have to figure away around it, keep covered, use the trees, take unpopulated routes."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully, "Ok son, I trust your judgement. I hadn't realised quite how taken Alice was with this school, but I do admit, it is hard to say no when it makes her so happy. I haven't seen her this light hearted and carefree since…well, for a long time. I don't want to take that from her, from any of you."

I nodded in return; try hard to ignore his momentary slip.

"There's something else." He started, his voice suddenly hesitant. I fought the urge to read his mind; I refused to disturb his privacy. "Over the past couple of years this school has gained status. There are lots of stories about it. In the human world they're mostly about the incredible beauty and ability of the students. However in our world these stories are far more… intriguing. The stories are vague, but all hold a common key. All the stories speak of a deep magic that surrounds the school, which causes bizarre and strange happenings. In both worlds the valley has been rumoured to be haunted since before the 1200s and has been a sacred place for the Indian men and women who live within it since they settled there. The number of vampires attending this school seems to have risen quite dramatically, pardon the pun, over these past few years."

I nodded again, "I'll be sure to keep any eye out, and see what all the fuss it about."

I stood, sensing the end of the matter. As I opened the door Carlisle chuckled, suddenly light hearted again, and murmured "You never know, Alice's attitude might be infectious."

I left thinking, _you never know…_

Now I was sat in Carlisle black Mercedes looking at the crisp green leaves of Death Valley which was bathed in sunlight, trying not to worry about the danger that warm light brought with it. Alice was sat next to me, a pleasant smile playing across her lips as she paused in her seemingly endless oration. On her head lay a ridiculously large floppy summer hat, the material of the belt matching her soft green summer dress and beige flip flops. The only thing out of place in the bright colours was her black sunglasses. I shook me head, smiling too. It seemed silly, wearing such summer clothes. We never got to enjoy the summer, but yet here we were, walking into it willingly, and apparently adorned in clothes for the occasion.

Esme sat in the seat in front of me, dressed equally as bright and cheery. She was humming softly, her spirits high. I had to admit, the valley did bring a sense of joy and happiness, which was rather ironic considering its name. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper rode in my Volvo behind us, and their thoughts were just as at ease and pleasant as Esme's and Alice's. It was unnerving how confident everyone was, considering where we were.

"I see the school!" Alice cried beside me. I followed her gaze and found myself looking at high torrents peeking above the trees as we rolled through the school's tall iron gates. The guard on the gate, sat in a small hut, smiled at our car and nodded. I shook myself when I saw he was a vampire.

The school slowly grew from just torrents to a full blown old stone castle. That was far from what I expected. The sun gave it a warm inviting look, instead of a cold Dracula style presence. The windows were huge beautiful arches, many with stained glass in them. The castle was enormous, and I had the feeling it was even bigger than it looked here. The car crunched on the colourful driveway, curving round a large water fountain. In its centre was a statue of a beautiful woman, holding a book and raising her hand lovingly to the sun. A circle of water shoots around the woman threw water into the fountain basin in soft, high arches. The fountain added to the calm sense that covered the school.

Carlisle pulled right up to the steps, which were covered by the shade of the stone ceiling. As we stepped out onto the shaded steps Alice grabbed my arm, gazing lovingly out onto the endless grounds, which shone a brilliant shade of green under the sun, coloured by wild flowers.

"Edward, it's perfect!" she cried. Her mind was filled with awe and love for this school. I didn't understand it, but suddenly I very much wanted to be apart of it, and feel the same way. So, with a confident lift of my head, I linked my arm through Alice's, smiled down at her, a vowed to take on my new life with vigour.

Sensing my sudden change of heart my sister smiled at me warmly, nodded and pulled me up the stone steps to the main door, which was made of thick dark wood, with pretty carvings in it of the woodland and celebrating people. The rest of my family joined us and we walked into our new school with our heads held high.

* * *

The foyer was oddly quite, considering the school population. The receptionist, who was situated behind a thick mahogany desk (also engraved with woodland scenes), stood as soon as we entered, a delighted smile on her face.

"Oh, splendid!" she cried, before running around her desk and joining us. She wore a cream pencil skirt and a soft silk blouse, with kitten heels on her feet. Her rich dark hair was half pinned up, keeping it off her face but allowing it to flow down her back and shoulders.

"You must be the Cullen's! We've been waiting for you. Everyone is very excited. The headmistress will be here in a moment. Can I get you anything, drinks, food, magazines? Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just so pleased to see you all, I'm rambling. Ha ha!"

She stopped the catch her breathe while we balked at her. Good god, I didn't know there was any human alive who could talk as fast as Alice!

Suddenly a woman appeared at the end of the hallway. She walked with her head down, engrossed in the book in her hand, reminding me of the fountain outside.

"Diane!" called the receptionist, "Diane, the Cullen's have arrived!"

She woman, Diane, looked up, startled, then smiled. She approached us, book now hanging by her side in one hand. She grinned and I was struck by how young she looked. Her skin was smooth and her kind face was a soft heart shape. She had a long mane of waving honey coloured hair, locks of it was pulled back, held there by sparkling clips. She wore a pleasant pastel yellow sundress, with matching strappy sandals. What surprised me the most however was her topaz coloured eyes. This woman was a vampire.

"Hello! Oh, it's such a pleasure to have you here. I'm Diana, the headmistress of this wonderful academy. I see you've met my good friend Sophie, I do hope she didn't stun you too much, she can get quite excited!" she laughed joyfully, throwing the receptionist a cheerful smile.

Carlisle stepped forward to shake her hand, "Hello. Thank you so much for your hospitality and welcome. I'm Car –"

"Carlisle! The famous doctor." Diane interrupted. Carlisle looked startled, but immediately smiled and nodded. The headmistress turned to Esme, "And you must be his beautiful wife. People really don't do you justice my dear. You're simply stunning!" If Esme could blush she would.

Diane beamed and turned to the rest of us, "Oh, and Alice the dancer, we're so excited to have you here, you're classmates can't wait to see you dance! This must be Jasper, your partner. I've heard many a stories about you young man! Your calming presence is well known and very much welcome here. You know how competitions can be, ha ha! And the gorgeous Rosalie. I wouldn't believe the stories your beauty has created if I had not seen you face, but my, I was wrong to doubt them! Look at you, so wonder you need such a big strong man by your side! Emmett, your sport and comedy skills are notorious, we can't wait to see what joy your bring to our home here." Finally she turned to me, a warm smile playing across her face. Her eyes caught mine and she looked deep into my absent soul for a moment. It passed and she continued to smile, "And here is Edward, the legendary musician. We've been waiting a very long time for you, I can assure you. Patiently, but waiting all the same. It is a joyful day to see you here within our walls."

We were stunned into silence. How on earth did she know so much, and why were we long awaited at this school.

"Sophie, dear, could you bring up their schedules to me in a small while, and locate Izzy for me, so she can welcome our new students."

Sophie nodded then trotted off to her desk, busying around on the computer.

"Izzy is our student president" she explained helpfully, "Please follow me. Oh, and don't worry about your belongings, they're being taken to your dorms as we speak."

She walked down the hall and we hastily followed. She led us up some short stone stairs (it was beginning to feel like we were in some bizarre version of Hogwarts) which led down another hallway. Windows made light filter into the hallway without it being direct sunlight, which meant we didn't have to skirt around it. The sound of birds chirping filled the silence pleasantly.

"It's wonderful here, is it not?" Diane suddenly spoke, her voice wistful.

Beside me Alice answered quietly, "Yes."

Diane stopped at another wooden door and smiled warmly at Alice, "You will find much happiness here my child." Then she brightened up and began less intense, "Come on then, inside, there's much to discuss!"

We filed into her room, surprised yet again to find plenty of chairs for us. The desk was much the same as the one in the foyer, and there were matching bookcase filled to the brim with books behind it. We sat down as the headmistress took her seat.

"Well, firstly let me say how incredibly happy I am to have you here. It's a great honour to have _the_ Cullen's here! Secondly I liked to reassure you that I'm not some crazy stalker or anything. I know so much for two very simple reasons. The first is that you really are famous in the vampire world, and the second being I am the headmistress, and it's my job to know everything I can about our students, not only to ensure they are right for our school, but to ensure I can give them the best experience here."

She smiled at us all before continuing, "One would assume you are aware of the stories of this location. Am I right?"

"Yes ma'am, we are. And we're understandably curious." Carlisle answered.

She laughed warmly, "Yes, isn't everyone?" she mused, looking out the window. She shook her head and returned to us, "Well, let get right to it. This school is protected by magical wards. In fact the whole reserve is. They were placed here when the native Indians settled here many many centuries ago, to protect their tribes from evil. These wards draw many young vampires to us, those pure of heart, mind and spirit. Those who want to repent, to mend their old ways. Those who wish for a peaceful life and those who just wish for a loving family. Currently, including yourselves, there are 82 vampires living here, and every one of them are 'vegetarians', as you so dearly call it. Quite ingenious might I say.

"I noticed you aversion to the sunlight. You will find that the wards that protect us here will protect you from the sun. You will not sparkle. So you are free to enjoy the sunshine as much as you wish!"

My jaw hit the ground.

"What?! Are you kidding?" Rosalie exclaimed.

Diane chuckled, "Certainly not my dear child. I'm quite serious. Please, test it for yourself." She gestured to the window.

Rosalie stood, her disbelief overthrowing her fear. She yanked the window open and thrust her hand out before she could talk herself out of it.

"Oh My God!" Alice yelled, running to the window too.

Both of their skins stayed smooth and pale, not a hint of a sparkle. We didn't even think, we just ran to join them at the window, thrust out skin into the light. Esme sobbed with joy. I fought the lump rising in my throat. I hadn't realised how much I missed the warm inviting light until now. The feel of it's warmth on my cold skin reach deep into my heart, something I hadn't felt for nearly three years.

Slowly, but surely, we returned to our seats.

Diane was still smiling, but she held a grimace, "Alice dear, I understand it is not your belief, but please do not take the Lord's name in vain. We are particularly attached to our faith here, and it pains us to hear such blatant, though perhaps accidental, disregard of His name."

Alice looked down in shame, "I'm terribly sorry. I'm aware of your great attachment to the Lord, I didn't think. Please forgive me."

Diane took her hand across to table and held her eyes, "It's already forgotten dear." She smiled then looked upon the rest of us.

"Right, details, details. I'm sorry, I'm awfully forgetful." She shook her head, "There is a church on the east of the grounds which is always open to anyone. There are services every Sunday evening and on special occasions. We celebrate the Wiccan holidays as merrily as we do our Christian ones here, we welcome all religions.

"The dorms are to the north, and though teenagers will be teenagers the dorms are mixed sex. We trust our students enough to be smart, and we check up on them regularly. The vampire dorm and the human dorm are connected, though there is a watchman on the main door between them, so check who goes into the vampire dorm. Our students only eat animals, but they are still new to this life and it is not smart to tempt them unnecessarily. I'm sure Jasper can relate."

Jasper smiled knowingly and nodded.

"Our lessons are a mixture of creative and lessons required by the board of education. Some days you will find you have nothing but creative lessons, other days you will find you have your core lessons such as science, english and mathematics as well as dance and music, etc. You're given free periods and we have homeroom. There is a student common room which contains pool tables, vending machines, air hockey and countless plasma TVs. The kitchen is always open to grab food from. We also keep a store of blood in one of our fridges for emergencies. The cafeteria caters for the human students, but it is a common known fact that our human students know our vampire students, or known to them as 'gifted' students, don't eat publicly. Most of them believe that they are on a special food regimen. There are, however, a few select students who are aware of our vampirism. You'll realise who they are fairly quickly."

We heard the tip tap of heals in the hall before a knock sounded.

"Ah, this must be Sophie with your schedules. Come in Sophie!"

The receptionist entered, holding a pile of papers. She handed us each our schedules, along with room card keys, maps, opening times and a list of teachers' phone numbers.

"If you have any future questions please ask either me or any students, especially Izzy. I believe Sophie will take you to her now. Where is she?"

"She's in interpretive dance right now, so I'll take them to the west wing where the studio is and introduce them."

Diane smiled again. Man she smiled a lot, "Excellent! Well, off you go now!"

We stood, but when our parents did she spoke again, "Actually, Carlisle and Esme, could you stay. I'd like to discuss your living arrangements. We have a darling little cottage a few miles from here I think you'd adore…"

Their voices drifted off as we went down the hall, turning a corner to a sunny grass covered courtyard, presumably going to the west wing.

_I think I might just like it here,_ I found myself thinking. My siblings' thoughts weren't far from my own. With a pleasant smile I followed Sophie into my new life.

* * *

The interior steadily changed from old stone to soft lighting and modern eliminate floorings, with fresh flowers decorating tables and window sills. All the studios were large, with sleek wood flooring and at least one wall of mirrors, with a ballet bar fixed to a wall. Large windows flooded light into them and the pale walls made the rooms seem even bigger. Some were filled with ballet dancers doing pirouettes and graceful stag leaps. Others were booming out hip hop as student did break dancing. We finally came to the large studio on the corner, and when the sound proof door opened the soft sound of a piano spilled out. In side were roughly 20 students, most of which were sat upon the warm floor watching the trio in front of them dance lightly to the melody of the piano. The young woman with long brown hair sat on the piano, her hands gliding across it with ease. As the song came to an end, the dancers falling into their final positions with it, Sophie closed the door behind us and stood happily beside us, waiting for everyone to disperse from their positions.

As the pianist stood the teacher approached us. He was young, probably not long out of university, and his dark hair held a curving bleach blonde stripe, while spiked in crazy directions.

"Oh, excellent, you're here. Diane just called me to let me know!" he exclaimed, clapping his hand. Was everyone here so excitable? It was like one hundred Alice's all at once.

"I'm Liam, the instructor. You just missed Janie, Zoe and Hattie's dance, but no worries, Izzy is just about to do her piece" He winked, which made Sophie giggle, "You can have her after that, promise."

_Sigh, why can't he ask me out,_ Sophie's thoughts suddenly interrupted my own.

We turned our attention back to the staging area, where the pianist had placed herself, head down, previous sweats now laying on the floor to the side. She wore a short black netting dress, which ended just below her hips. Beige lace flowers reached across her hip to her opposite shoulder, sparkling oddly in the sunlight. Her long curls caught in the sun, shining a deep garnet colour.

Liam pressed a button on the small sleek remote in his hand and music filled the room. I instantly recognised it as Britney's new track, Circus. Trying to pay attention to the dance, I focused harder, watching the acclaimed Izzy dance.

The presence of her dance filled the room the moment her head lifted. Her body moved with confidence to the strong beat, matching it perfectly. As the song slowed into bridge she moved in slow motion, following the tempo, and then burst into the upbeat chorus, body moving dramatically. I was so enthralled by her movement, her passion, her energy I didn't get a chance to study her face. The emotion of the dance oozed from her, and I noticed every person in the room was captured, leaning unconsciously into her, eyes attentive and unblinking. Her hair whipped around, flying high, adding to the speed and strength of the song. Her blue eyes flashed here and there before getting lost in her hair or hidden behind her hands.

It was over a fast as it had begun, though I was sure it had lasted hours. Everyone cheered and clapped, hooting appreciatively. She bowed then straightened up, her long hair falling off her face, a grin shining out. And my undead heart froze.

There, stood before me, in shining glory, was Bella. My Bella.

And she was a vampire.

There was no mistaking it. She was a vampire. Every sense in my body screamed it, despite her sparkling blue eyes, despite the fact I had left her in Forks very much human, despite the fact I had never wanted her to suffer my soulless fate.

"Izzy, darling, that was fabulous!" cried Sophie beside me. I barely heart her. I couldn't think, I couldn't move. She was here, Bella was here. Here with me, a vampire, strong, happy.

Happy.

_Happy, without you, _a voice in my mind whispered.

_But I want her to be happy with me. How could she be happy without me? _I questioned.

_Because you left her, so she could be happy. This is what you wanted, you said yourself. _

_So why does it hurt so much?_ I asked the voice. It didn't answer.

Sophie was talking again, "Izzy, I have some new students for you, 'gifted' ones."

Her gaze fell upon us and for a second I swear her smile faltered. She approach us, walking with confidence, no a hint of a stumble.

"Hello. Welcome to the academy, I'm Izzy. I'm your student president. I didn't realise we were getting so many 'gifted' students in one go!" she laughed lightly. She took a form from Sophie, signing it. "There we go, that's your forms signed for, now Diane knows I've seen you. Just in case, you know." She said, laughing again.

The bell rung loudly above us, "Oh dear, I'm very sorry, I've got to be somewhere. Um…if you have any question there're plenty of students around who can help. I'll be at the Moon dorm this evening if you have any further questions. I'm really very sorry. See you later, have a great day!"

She ran and grabbed her bags, slipping into a pair of heels (_heels?!_) and ran out the door, again, not stumbling once.

Her head popped round the door, "Sorry, I forgot! Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again!" then she disappeared to god knows where.

I swallowed hard and turned to face my family.

"I didn't just imagine that, did I?" I asked, suddenly fearing that I had in fact lost it and imagined the whole thing.

Everyone's mouths hung open. Emmett swallowed hard too, then spoke, "Our baby sis. S…she's here."

"She's a vampire" Rosalie whispered in disbelief.

"She was wearing Gucci!" Alice screamed.

A/N: and there you have it guys! I hope you liked it! Yes, Death Valley is a real place; I went and searched for it so you guys could have an authentic place! It's the perfect place, 'because San Fran comes into the story later, and outside locations get mentioned. Anywho REVIEW!


	2. The Real World

**A/N:**** Yay, chapter 2! Woop! I hope you guys like this. I thinking the beginning of it's a little weak, but when Edward and Bella meet again it should be pretty good, as I planned it really detailed. **

**Oh, there's a piece of furniture in this that you might not recognise the name of. It's called a chaise longue. The link to a picture of one, just so you know what it looks like, is on my profile(the specific ones i imagined are on there). i tried putting it on here but it didn't work so well. or type the name of it into google images ** **- look at it now, so you can picture it when you read it. Only takes a second!**

**Oh, in the last chapter I worried that people thought Izzy's dance dress was slutty. For any dancers out there it wont seem so, she was wearing black shorts underneath and it's a dancery type thing, easy to move in. I saw it on the final auditions for 'So you think you can dance' and fell in love with it.**

**THANK YOU FOR ALL MY AMAZING REVIEWS, I LOVE YOU ALL, THANK FOR SO MUCH!!! Special shout outs will probably start in the next chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Two

The rest of the day slipped out of the realms of reality. I couldn't keep a grip on things, nothing seemed real.

And that was the only conclusion. This couldn't be real. My kind couldn't walk in the sun safely. No place could hold so many vampires, except the Volturi. And my love, my beautiful Bella, couldn't be a vampire. She simply couldn't be. This place just wasn't real.

I mentally winced; _guess I've finally lost it. _

I really couldn't handle living without her. So I'd retreated into my own mind, creating a Utopia, where I could stay with her, forever.

My heart twinged. What state had I left my family in? When exactly had I slipped into this fantasy world? Had I been like this for weeks, or for years? I'd left my loyal brothers, my loving sisters, my caring mother and honest father. I'd been selfish, and done what I wanted. Now they had lost me.

But as strongly as the guilt racked my body, I couldn't come to regret it. Because here I could live, be happy, with my love, my soul reason to live. We could walk outside on sunny afternoons, we could laugh and dance, we could be together, happy, forever.

As I stepped away from the idea that this world was wrong I became to muse. Could we sleep here? Surely we could, if it were a world of my own creation. Was Bella angry? It didn't seem so; she hadn't scowled or yelled, or been horrible at all. Perhaps I had banished the horrible day from this world. A smile slowly reached my lips. Today a new life began.

My imaginary siblings walked beside me in silence, no daring to speak. The expressions ranged from confusion to hurt, to anger to concern. I nearly laughed aloud. Well, their emotions were authentic at least. I was becoming increasingly impressed with my own mind. I was aware it was capable of creating such a detailed and authentic world. Jasper frowned at me but I smiled reassuringly back. Poor man, he must confused at my bizarre emotions. My ease at the situation wasn't exactly…expected.

The bell to signal the end of the day pulled me out of my reverie. End of the day. Which meant we could return to the dorms. Where my Bella was. I swallowed hard, picked myself up and walked towards the north of campus with my head held strong.

I couldn't concentrate on the grounds around me as we walked. I was far too nervous to take notice of it all. I was so close to her. Every step, closer. The dorms came into focus. Closer still. The winding path led us to its door. Nearly there. A sparkling crescent moon hung above the park mahogany door, glittering in the slowly sinking sun. The moon dorm. Just a few steps more. I grasp the thick silver handle. On the other side of this door. It turned with ease under my fingers. Another few seconds. I pushed slightly, letting the door swing open. She right here. I stepped inside, eyes absorbing my new home. With her.

And she wasn't here.

My heart sank. She'd said she'd be here…hadn't she?

A few vampires hung in the main room, chatting and laughing. That instantly stopped the moment I had entered. I looked at the vampire closest to me, not caring who he was, and asked, "Where's Bella?"

He frowned, "Uh, we don't have a Bella here…"

"I…but she was…" I stopped, confused. Then it hit me, she walked by a different name here… how strange. What had it been…Illy? Lily? Izzy? Izzy, yes that was it.

I tried again. "Sorry, where's Izzy?"

His face instantly lit up, which irritated me. "Oh, right, Iz. Yeah, she's not about yet. She went to talk to Diane. She's probably just working out the kinks for you guys, she's great like that. We're lucky to have her."

I tried to keep calm, "O…K, so when will she be back?"

He shrugged, "Iz comes and goes as she pleases, and it is her home after all. Not really our place to question her. But knowing Iz, she'll probably be back in a couple of hours. She'll probably run a few errands after seeing Diane, but she's always back here in the evening, chilling. She'll be back by 7, at the latest." he offered another friendly smile.

"Um, thank you." I turned to go.

"Hey, um, you're welcome to hang with us. We all know how tough it is being new here, getting into the swing of things. You're lucky you're already veggie. It's a killer getting used to that! Ha ha!" I didn't laugh, which shook him a little.

_Ooook, tough crowd. Iz won't like it if I piss them off, _he thought.

He coughed and offered his hand, "I'm Ryan Shakes. Everyone calls me Ray though. We'd be honoured if you joined us."

I shook his hand, "Edward Cullen, but I'm sure you already know that, and my families' names."

He smiled warmly and nodded in turn to each of us, "It's been a long day. I think we'd all like to go to our rooms, unpack and rest. No offence."

"Hey, none taken, man. Look forward to getting to know you all." He returned to his seat with his friends, who smiled at us too, some nodding their heads, others murmuring a welcome.

I sighed as I climbed the grand marble stairs with my family. We walked off to our rooms, which had been marked on our papers and key cards. As I retreated to my room I thought of my love and tried to figure out what kind of life she had now, what kind of person she was, what she liked and didn't like, what people she talk to, if anyone disliked her. My Bella. As if someone could dislike her. Still if anyone did I could change that. This was my world after all.

* * *

A clear crystal voice rang out downstairs.

"I'm hoooome!"

I tried to stop my heart from flying as her voice reached my ears. My Bella, my love. At long last. We were together again.

I flew from my seat, trying to calm my speed as I approached the stairs. The brothers and sisters weren't much better. That joined me at the stairs, descending them with me.

Below an angel bustled around the room, soft skin glowing. She smiled warmly at everyone, hugging some, laughing with others. She dumped her bag by the red velvet chaise longue and laid upon it with ease. Most of the vampires slowly left, the action so natural it didn't seem out of place for them to leave. However two stayed, one moved to sit by her feet, placing them on his lap and removing her heels. The second sat on the floor by her head. A red headed vampire returned with a silver goblet in hand. She placed it on the table gently. Bella thanked her warmly then smiled as she left. The man by her head automatically lifted the goblet and placed it in her hand, watching her take a long sip before resting back, eyes closed.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and hesitated. Was it really my place to interrupt her quiet time?

A resounding _yes _ran through my mind.

I cleared my throat to get their attention. Her eyes sprung open and took in the sight of me and my siblings. She blinked once before relaxing back, sipping from the goblet again.

"Hello Edward." She greeted me, voice far more tired than I had expect, "What can I help you with?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

With her eyes still closed she asked, "About anything in particular?"

"Us."

She opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow, sitting up. "I'm not sure I follow you."

I walked to her, kneeling to stare into her eyes, "Bella, I don't care if this is a dream world. I don't care if this isn't real and if you don't want me in reality. All that matters is that I love you, that you're here, and that we belong together."

She held my eyes, looking at me as if I had lost the plot. After all I had. She stood slowly, the two males moving to flank her.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm not sure who exactly you think I am, but I think it best for you to return to your room with your siblings and perhaps talk to them. They appear a little concerned." She paused, looking from my family to me, "You're father is a doctor, correct? Perhaps it'd be wise to see him, discuss a few things with him."

I shook me head, desperate for her to see, "No. I don't need to see him, I'm not crazy! Well, maybe I am, this is all make believe. But what I mean is I'm already lost to reality, I'm in a coma or something. But that doesn't matter, because this isn't real so we can be as we're meant to here. Treatment can't help me now."

Bella frowned with concern, "Alice, could you please take Edward here back to his room. I'll call Carlisle right away." As she turned I heard her sigh and say "It's always the talented one's that go."

Alice came forward and took my arm, "Oh Edward. I'm so sorry. I should have seen this coming, I'm so sorry."

I shook her off, annoyed. "I'm fine! Bella, look at me!"

She turned, "My name is Izzy."

"No, it's not. It's Isabella Marie Swan! You're as clumsy as hell, you hate blood, you can't stand sports and you blush every second of the day. You're a terrible liar and you love to cook, we took biology together and I tricked you into going to prom!"

She turned whiter than a normal vampire and stared at me in shock. Then she turned, facing me head on.

"Oh dear." She whispered, passing a hand over her eyes.

"He must be from before," one of the vamps whispered to her. She nodded sadly.

She took a step forward, "Edward…I'm not sure how to say this." She paused to look at all of us, an apology lingering in her eyes, "I…I won't deny that you may have once known me. But I…what I'm trying to say is, well, 3 years ago I got amnesia. I don't remember anything about who I was or what I did. None of it ever came back. I really am sorry."

My heart froze. Amnesia. She didn't remember. She didn't remember me, us, our love. It was all gone. All those precious memories, gone. How could this be? What sort of world was this, how had I created this? Was I still punishing myself, even in this make believe world?

Then it hit me. This _was _reality. All of this. I felt like such a fool. Not only had I confessed to believing this all unreal, but I had done so to a woman who didn't know me anymore.

But then, if she didn't know, then I had a second chance. Perhaps she would come to love me. She had before, after all. Maybe she wasn't the same person anymore, but that wouldn't stop me. I still loved Bella, and surely not that much could have changed. There was hope. My heart fluttered. I had been given a second chance.

Suddenly Bella and the two vampires besides her collapse into laughter. She hugged her body as she doubled over, laughing so hard I thought she might actually cry, if it were possible. She grabbed one of the guys next to her, Ray, clinging to his arm to stop herself from falling.

"Oh man, you should have seen your faces!" she cried through laughs.

It took her a few minutes to compose herself, while we stared at her in utter disbelief.

As she wiped her eyes the guys next to her returned to their seats, watching us with mirth, "Oh dear. I haven't had a laugh like that in a long while. Oh man alive."

"Excuse me?" I questioned, completely lost.

"Amnesia? Seriously? As if Edward. Please!" she stared right into my eyes, her own cold and unforgiving, "I remember _everything._"

She threw me a death glare then turned to sit back down.

"Lets get a few things straight while we're here. Firstly, my name is Izzy. Izzy de Barbaron, or on the _most_ formal occasion Isabella. I'm not clumsy, I love blood, I'm great at sports and I can't blush. I'm an excellent liar, as you just saw quite clearly, I don't really cook all that much anymore and I aced biology last year so there's no chance of that _ever _happening again. And prom, please, I've been to over a 100 dances since and every one of them was better than that night. The girl you used to know is dead, stop thinking she hung around to wait for you. She had better things to do."

Ray began to massage her feet as she sat back, closing her eyes again and taking a long drink from the goblet. I sniffed the air. Yep, the substance in the goblet was defiantly blood.

Alice stepped forward, unable to help herself, "Bella? It's really you?"

A lump rose on my throat, I'd never heard my sister sound so small and delicate before.

Before she'd even blink Bella was back on her feet, eyes blazing, "It's Izzy! What are you? Brain dead?! Can't even learn one freaking name?"

Alice's whole frame shook, "I…I…I'm sorry…"

"Whatever." She returned to her seat again, draining her drink.

"Bel…Izzy," Emmett started, "I don't understand. Why are you –"

"Being so difficult?" she asked. Emmett nodded. "Think hard Emmett, think real hard."

"Because we left." I whispered, my heart breaking.

"Bravo! Have a gold star!" she announced coldly, clapping her hands mockingly.

"But –" Jasper started.

"But what?" she asked, her voice harsh. She wasn't meant to be cold. She was meant to be sunshine and freesias, light and joy and laughter. "You left me. You left me alone. You left me and you didn't come back! You didn't care! Don't pretend you do now."

"Iz." Ray warned, looking her meaningfully in the eye. She held it for a moment, having a silent conversation with him that I found myself unable to hear, his mind was now as blank as hers.

She sighed in defeat, "Fine." She threw a quick glance at us, "Go away. I can't find the patience to deal with you all right now. If I could I would have you exiled from this school immediately. However Diane thinks it would be…pleasant for both our image and my status to keep you here, so you must stay."

She looked me right in the eye, sharp blue eyes hard, "But that does not mean I have to be kind or welcoming to you. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours. Now return to your rooms and unless the world is ending I don't expect to see you until the bell rings for lessons tomorrow."

Her voice rang with such authority that I was half way up the stairs before I knew it. I didn't dare speak, fearing her wrath, her hate. If I could cry I would bawl. I was suddenly reminded of the song she had danced to this afternoon, and realised just how true it was.

"_I run a tight ship, so beware. I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots."_

This wasn't meant to happen, it wasn't meant to be like this. But then, how could I blame her, she was right; I had left her, broken her heart and left her life.

_I vow to spend the rest of my life winning her back, showing her my love for her, giving her the happiness she deserves…_

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**A/N ****so there's chapter two! Yay! Hope you liked it! Sorry Bella is such a bitch, but it's justified, he did leave her! She won't be like that for most of it, but she will be bitchy! Bring on Bella tough toes! Hee hee! Might do a medly of the Cullen's POV for the next chapter. Pretty much rest of the story is done from Bella's POV!**

**REVIEW! (Please do, I honestly can't understand why people get update alerts but don't review! it's a mystery to me!)**


	3. Dealing With It

**A/N: Chapter 3 is here!!! woo! am so excited, hope you guys love it as much as i! i can't stop writing this story! chapter 4 is on its way, chapter 3 got too long so i had to split it into 2 chapters!**

**a massive I LOVE YOU to my faithful and wicked reviews!**

**a ginormous YOU'RE FREAKING AWESOME to my fab beta **xxblue-eyed-bellaxx **_(i'm so sorry,i realised that i'm a jimmy and i never put a massive thank you up in this fanfic to me,i'm so sorry!you rock!)_**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter Three

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Dealing With It

There's nothing worse than waking up feeling like crap. Feeling like crap because I only got 1 hour of sleep. Because the family I had so desperately loved were now staying down the hall from me. Because I wasn't allowed to get rid of them. And because once again I was in an empty bed! I stared longingly at the bare space beside me, sheets unruffled. It was so lonely sleeping alone in a king sized bed.

As I dragged myself from the soft silk sheets of my dark wood four poster bed I wondered if the Cullens had discovered they could indeed sleep here. I doubted it. It had taken me weeks to find out we could after I'd turned, and it been an accident when I had. It was all down to the magic the school held. Anyone who held residence within the reservation was able to sleep the equivalent of 24 hours a month. It didn't seem much, but to a vampire it was a heck of a lot. A precious gift.

I smiled at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, grateful for the lack of dark shadows under my eyes. Bright blue orbs stared back at me, speculating.

_Never can be normal, can you Izzy? _My mind commented.

"Oh shut up." I shot back, turning away from my image.

I stepped into my miracle of a shower (seriously, jets, 3 different shower heads and waterproof music player, how awesome is that!), revelling in the sensation of the heat on my cool skin.

I was luckier than most, blessed. I was able to sleep longer than those here. Maybe it was a reward, like for services to the school or something. I laughed at myself, wrapping a fluffy white towel around my body. Man, some of the things I said. Ha ha!

I dressed without really paying much attention. Great thing about being a vampire, your mind does all the mundane tasks for you while you daydream. I found myself stood in front of my mirror, wearing a pair of skinny flares in a deep indigo colour with a dark tan belt, held together by a rustic brass buckle. My feet were wrapped in sparkling black ballet flats and I wore a tight baby blue tank top, with vampire chick written across it, a cute fluffy chick printed above it, with bloodied fangs.

Yes, I was taking the piss, but it was fun. Why not play it obvious? It gave me and everyone else a laugh, and to the human students I was making the kinda gothic look cool. Everybody won. My shelves were stocked full of shirts suck like this, with all sorts written on them. I loved them, they rocked, they looked good, and they were damn funny!

My dark hair curled naturally at the ends and hung pleasantly over my shoulder. I smiled seductively at my reflection, watching my eyes sparkle.

"Time to play."

The image winked back at me. I laughed and grabbed my bag, heading downstairs.

As I passed the empty frame hung on the wall at the top of the stairs, I sighed. Still empty. Damn it.

About a month ago Diane had told me she wanted a portrait of me painted and mounted at the top of the grand staircase. She said I was a leader, and all leaders should have at least one portrait for others to remember them by. Sure, giant painting of me sitting there forever. Great. I had suggested just taking a photo and sticking it on the shelf above the fireplace – in the smallest possible frame I could find. She hadn't replied…I think she's still mulling it over. Anyway, we still haven't been able to find anyone half decent enough to paint it, so alas the frame stayed empty. And looked equally as stupid sat up there as my portrait would do.

A wonderful smell hit my nose as I descended. My eyes widened in joy and I ran as fast as I could to the kitchen.

"Pancakes!!!" I cried, throwing myself into a bar stool, nearly toppling it over. A giant grin spread across my face. "Gimme gimme gimee!!!"

Ray, who was stood behind the stove in an apron that read 'Kiss the Chef', chuckled at me and flipped a pancake. He dumped it on a growing pile and started on the next one.

"Go ahead, they're for you." He said, waving the spatula at me.

I giggled and pulled the toppling pile of pancakes towards me.

"Syrup?"

He grinned at me and opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of Mama Francis's homemade syrup, "Ordered you the real stuff from San Fran."

I grabbed it, smiling happily. Ah, real syrup. I hated that commercial rubbish they sold in the store. Homemade syrup all the way, and there was no syrup better than Mama Francis's.

I drowned the pancakes in the golden liquid and dug in. The food melted in my mouth and I groaned. Oh how I loved Ray's pancakes. Yet another gift from the magic here. We were able to taste food, as it was _meant_ to taste. We didn't need it to survive, and it didn't do anything to us, but we could actually _taste _it! And we all loved it. We couldn't get enough of food now it actually tasted more than ash. Granted, we still didn't eat much at lunch, but we had the odd bite here and there, because we couldn't hold back the eagerness to revel in the sensation of the wonder of food. Unless you were like me and you just stuffed your face. But come on, it's freakin' pancakes!

Ray turned off the ring and sat down at the island, tucking into his own little pile of heaven, spooning fresh fruit onto them from the bowl that sat between us. We ate in silence for a little while. Students wondered in and out, some grabbing things to eat, others picking up books they'd left lying abou. Lots of them welcomed me warmly, which I returned with a happy smile, nodding my head to them.

"They good?" Ray asked, nearly done with his own.

I nodded vigorously, popping another forkful in my mouth with a dreamy smile. Oh how I loved pancakes. Ray's head bopped in agreement. He looked off to the side, zoning out.

"Iz, what do you plan to do?" he asked.

I looked at him blankly, totally lost, "Um…about what?"

"The Cullens."

I pushed my plate away angrily, "Good feelings gone."

Ray sighed loudly, pushing the plate back at me, "Finish you breakfast Izzy. You'll regret it later if you don't." he threw another bucket load of syrup on them. I watched the syrup drip over the edges of the small stack that was left, biting my lip. Sighing I picked up my fork and began eating again.

"I don't know Ray." I answered him honestly after a moment, "I'm..I'm not sure."

He watched me, fork hanging in his hand as he chewed.

"They need to know about things."

I didn't answer him. Instead I kept eating, mulling it over. They did need to know. They needed to know about ins and outs of the school. They needed to know about what gifts the magic gave us. About the special clubs in town, hunting, blood packs, schedules, restrictions on using powers in lessons, holidays. They needed to know about everything. But then, that meant seeing them, talking to them, it meant being civil. It meant being kind and warm and all the things I was meant to be, all the things I was…with everyone else. But with them? I wasn't sure I could give them the same treatment. I knew I should, but I just couldn't. After everything they'd done. I just couldn't.

I stood, washing off my plate in the sink. I placed it on the draining board then paused.

"I guess they do." I said with a sigh.

I looked at Ray, who held my gaze then nodded once in agreement.

I sat back down and huffed, "Man, I'm so bummed. Thanks a bunch Ray."

He laughed at me then grabbed my hand, his plate and dish already washing up.

"Well, then I guess rocking out is just what the doc ordered," he asked with a twinkle in his eye. I grinned back and followed him into the main room where he turned on the surround sound stereo, blasting out 'I Like to Move It' from Madagascar. Grace, Lucas's mate and one of my closest friends, joined us and we did what we did best. We rocked out. We jumped up and down senselessly, throwing out heads all over the place, hair flying. We spun around and swung out arms. We kicked out legs and shaked our butts. To anyone watching we looked like complete nutters. To us, we rocked. It was tradition. Being bummed out equalled rocking out time. Perfect to pick up your spirits and keep the day awesome.

"Hey losers! You're ganna be late!" Lucas called from the front door, heading out.

I grabbed my bag and legged it. Passing him I cried, "Bet you $10 I'm not!"

He laughed, yelling back to me, "You're on!"

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, hoping to God that I wouldn't get caught by anyone. I burst through my door and landed in my seat just as Mr. Jenson called out, "Izzy de Barbaron?"

"Present!" I said, trying to look like I'd been sat there the whole time. Rachael, my human best friend (one of the few students aware of the vampires living among them) was trying her hardest not the wet herself two rows down from me. When Mr. Jenson looked away I let out a breath then winked at her. She grinned back at me and turned to the front. I did the same, still smiling.

"As you know we have five new students starting here. I want all of you to make them feel welcome and answer any questions they have. No scaring them or pulling pranks. That means you Jon. They're schedule may change a bit as the staff get used to their talents and abilities and find them the appropriate classes to utilize those abilities, so be nice and welcome them for however long they are in your class. Understood?"

"Yes Mr. Jenson." We answered, bored out our heads. It was just the standard new student speech. He finished up and dismissed us as the bell rang.

I met Rachael at the door, "Hey sugarplum fairy, how's it hanging?"

Rachael laughed at me, looping her arm through mine and walked down the hall with me to dance theory.

"I'm doing good skippy. How about you?"

"Uck!" I cried, rolling my eyes, "So not doing good."

She raised her eyebrows as she opened the door, "Do I even want to ask?"

I threw her a look, "You so don't."

She laughed again then sat down next to me, pulling out her textbook. We settled into the lesson, taking notes while we passes messages to one another, sharing what we'd done over the summer break, who was cute on the scene right now, etc.

We parted after the lesson, heading to our own separate studies. I headed to the library, seeking somewhere comfortable and quiet for my free period.

Our library had a deck, enabling us to sit outside and soak in the sun while studying. I smiled at Gloria, the assistant librarian at the desk (a handy job when you're a student and desperate for money). She waved, a nail file nestled between her fingers, before returning to the task at hand. I chuckled before moving to a big squishing armchair by the window bathed in sunlight. I plopped down into it and pulled out my book. I'd currently found myself immersed in the dark deadly world of Rose Hathaway. I'd found the book Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead a week or so ago online and after reading the blurb I just had to have it, it sounded immense. I had been right. The book was dark and deadly, while at the same time filled with forbidden romance within the folds of the social circles of school (more specifically an academy, much like ours). And the best bit? It was all about vampires. It had always fascinated me to see what authors wrote about us, what they thought we were like and how off the mark they got it sometimes. Then again, some of them got it pretty close. It was hard to believe they hadn't even had a vampire encounter. We knew they hadn't though, if they had the Volturi would have eliminated them and destroyed the books. Still, Vampire Academy was brilliant, no matter how close or otherwise it was to the truth.

I snuggled down in my chair and immersed myself in Rose's quick wit and inner turmoil. The bell rang before I'd even gotten into it. I checked the page number.

_108 pages? Wow, guess I read more than I thought_.

Then again, that's how it always was. I always managed to read more than I noticed, and time would fly. No wonder my books never last more than a day. Packing the book into my bag I skipped off to lunch. It didn't hit me until I was nearly at the cafeteria that they'd be there.

_Bugger it!_

With a heavy sigh I entered the hall, moving to my normal table, refusing to look anywhere else except my friends. I sat down, dumping my bag by my side and folding my arms over my chest.

"Hey Izzy!" Lucas cried, throwing an arm around my shoulder, "How's it hanging babe?"

I grinned at him, "I thought it was the guys that had the junk that hung."

Everyone burst into laughter and Grace ruffled his hair lovingly. A disgruntled looking Lucas stuck his tongue out at me.

"Watch it, that anti-man attitude ain't ganna score you any brownie points."

I flicked him on the nose, "I'm not anti-man, I'm just pro-girl."

"Yeah yeah."

I reached over to nick Jon the Joker's jello when I heard a booming laugh fill the room. My head jerked in the direction of it on instinct, even though I knew who it was. My suspicions were confirmed. Sat a few tables away were the Cullens, where Emmett was nearly wetting himself, pointing in our direction. I looked down at my top and realised he was laughing at the print on it. The corner of my lips jerked up. Couldn't blame him. Like I said, the tops were a laugh.

I suddenly realised this was the perfect opening to go talk to them. With another sigh (how many times was I ganna do that day?) I stood and walked over to them. All my friends fell into silence and watched me, as did the Cullens (except Emmett who was trying to stop laughing).

"Come on guys, give 'em a little privacy." Ray whispered, which was closely followed by them talking amongst each other. I sent out a silent thank you to Ray.

I slip myself into a seat, almost exactly across from them and looked up.

Rosalie still looked as perfect as always, sitting with her chin held high, a mild look of distain on her face. Emmett was just a cheery looking as I remembered, that happy smile of his very much in place. Jasper looked less impassive than I remembered, more emotion present. His features weren't over run by pain anymore. This made my smile, it was about time he found some relief. My eyes turned upon Alice. Her hair was less well placed, more mused and unkept, but still passable. Her eyes featured heavy bruises and her cheeks looked mildly shallow. My heart twinged. She looked so unwell. I didn't know a vampire could look unwell. But her eyes shined with happiness and the essence of the sun seemed to have already spread through her system. Lastly I looked towards Edward. His hair was messier than I'd ever seen it and his cheeks were shallower than Alice's. He looked apprehensive and uncomfortable in my presence. Probably afraid I was going to shout again.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to yell. I promise."

I knitted my fingers together and rested them on the table, by their untouched food.

"I'm here because as your president it's my duty to inform you of the ins and outs of this school.

"De Barbaron Academy was founded by Diane's mother, my adoptive grandmother, 286 years ago. She was a vampire, just as Diane is and I am. Originally the school was started as a place for all the natives on the reservation to come a share their abilities and to be a place of peace, no matter which tribe you belonged to. It's was, and still is, a home of art.

"In the first few years Danielle, the founder, began to notice that strange things happened here. People found themselves unnaturally talented in their gift, others found themselves suddenly blessed with the power to communicate with the great spirits. The few vampires of the land found themselves gifted with the ability to sleep, to eat and to protect their loved ones in any way they needed. This was a gift from the spirit of the land, given to them for the life style they had chosen. For being 'vegetarian'. Those gifts still exist today.

"Through experimenting we have found that we are able to sleep up to 24 hours a month. We hold the ability to dream. We can eat, taste. Food holds no function to us other than pleasure and enjoyment." To prove my point I took a strawberry from Rosalie's bowl and bit into it, chewing happily.

"Go ahead, try it." She took the offer and bit into it. Her eyes expanded in shock and wonder.

"Oh good God! There's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited!"

Ok, defiantly the last thing I'd expect Rosalie to say, but whatever.

I winced, "Rosalie. Name, vain. Please."

She looked at me, dumbfound. Alice turned to her, "You took the Lord's name in vain."

"Oh," she looked at me, "Um, sorry."

I waved my hand dismissively, "Anyway, we can eat. You already know about the sun thing, so we can skip over that. Let's see, what else is there…? Oh, yes, hunting. You're completely free to hunt in the reservation, just don't get caught by anything breathing, obviously. There are also animal blood packs in the kitchen both in the dorm and at main building. There's a key code lock on them, which is written on your sheets. There are a few human packs from the hospital, but they are rare case emergency packs. They are never to be used without mine or Diane's consent. Understood? Good. Um, the magical boundary is pretty much exactly around the reservation and the shield covers everything within it.

"There are a few secret vampire clubs in town, run specifically for us. You're free to go to them whenever, though if you go in lesson time you will get your ass kicked. There are a few students aware of our…condition here at the academy. You'll figure out who they are pretty darn fast. It would be appreciated if you didn't use you powers to cheat in lessons, whether it be test scores or a physical class where you can make it easier by using super strength.

"There are church services every Sunday, but the church is always open, day or night. You're more than welcome to come to service or pass by for anything. Our priest is perfectly aware of our special students and always happy to answer questions, give guidance or just be there.

"Though we do have a uniform you're not required to wear it." I fought a laugh as I took in them all dressed head to toe in the entire uniform, even the headbands and cufflinks. "It's really only for special occasions, award ceremonies and special visits, both out of school grounds and people coming into school grounds."

I stood, pretty sure I'd covered everything. Alice opened her mouth to ask a question. A question I would best my life on that was about me.

"No, you may not ask." I told her before she could get it out, "My personal life is exactly that, personal. And you're not apart of it, therefore you don't need to know."

As I turned away I suddenly remembered something vital, "Opse, sorry, completely forgot. There'll be a party tonight at the Moon dorm to celebrate you arrival. This'll give you a chance to meet everyone, make some friends and ask questions about anything I forgot. See ya around!"

"Hey Izzy," Emmett called, stopping me in my tracks. I turned and looked at him. He grinned at me, "Kudos on the top."

I grinned back and winked. Then I returned back to my table, surprised by how well that went. Well, it went well because I didn't let them get a word in edgeways, but still, well was well.

Maybe this wouldn't be so terrible.

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**A/N: Chapter 4 coming REALLY soon!**

**_REVIEW!!!!!!!_ hee hee!**


	4. Living With It

**A/N: This is a chapter already posted but there was a major mistake in it where i'd gotten the wrong name written in a scene, so that has now been changed and its on the right path again. Love you all xxx**

Chapter Four

Learning to Live

After my lunchtime success, I was starting to feel a little more positive about this crappy situation. I pretty much skipped to duet class with Grace. We chatted merrily, giggling over Party Dave's plans to have a naked mud wrestling party by Badwater Basin (how appropriate), the biggest lake on the reservation. As we changed into our sweats and such like we discussed what we thought we'd be doing for the new unit. We had yet to be told, seems we'd still be settling back in since the summer break.

"I'm telling you Iz, the new theme is ganna be Moulin Rouge."

I shook me head, laughing, "Just because you're obsessed doesn't mean that's what we're going to be doing."

She stopped and looked pointedly at me, then gave up, "Fine, but they should do. It would be _awesome!_" she gushed.

I was trying hard to not pee myself laughing at her when we walked through the studio door. We waved to Fiona, our lecturer. She waved back, her boho skirt flowing as she walked about. One of the great things about Fiona, she might be old and pretty hard going sometimes, but she had wicked dress sense and was great fun once you got to know her (and didn't muck about in her class). We turned to the back of the room to dump our bags and my heart dropped. There, at the back of the studio, sat no other than Alice, Jasper and Edward. I clenched my jaw. This was just beyond unfair. I could handle then being here, at the school, in my home. But in my classes too! That was just too much! Can't a girl catch a break?

I trained my eyes on the window just off from them, close enough so I wasn't exactly being rude, but still far enough away so I didn't have to speak to them. I tried hard not to throw my bag to the floor…I'm not sure I succeeded. But I sat on the floor like nothing was up and focused on what Grace was saying.

"- so he decided that I was right and he's taking me out to dinner this Saturday." She was gushing about Lucas again, that much was clear. Sometimes those guys were beyond cut.

"And you'll never guess where he's taking me."

I thought of Lucas's usual 'dinner dates', "Jay's Diner?"

"Well, see, that's what I thought. But you won't believe this. He's taking me too…"

She held a sparkling glint in her eyes. I drum rolled on my legs, adding to the moment.

"Mezzanotte Rosé!"

"No!" I cried, completely stunned, "You're kidding me."

"I swear on my life, I'm not!"

"Wow…"

"Yeah…"

We sat in silence, digesting what might've been the weirdest piece of information I'd ever received. Mezzanotte Rosé, which was Italian for Midnight Rose, was the most prestigious restaurant on the reservation. The chef was one of the natives, but said to be one of the best in the world, using natural ingredients from the land. I'd only eaten there once, when I'd been human, and I'd almost died and gone to heaven when I had the chocolate moose. It's was near impossible to get a table, with a waiting list as long as the continental U.S.

"So…" I started, "What are you gonna wear!" I cried in a girly voice. We burst into laughter, clutching our stomachs.

My comment made me look round at Alice. I remember how she's used to insist on dressing me up, the insane hair styles she'd tried out and the ridiculous dresses and shoes she'd stuffed me into for prom. And my heart chocked, contracting painfully in my chest. It had been annoying and silly, but it had made her happy, and no matter how stupid it was I'd loved it. I'd loved being with my sister.

Her eyes met mine, overridden with pain. I gulped and looked away.

_It wasn't my fault. I wasn't the one that left. It's _not_ my fault._

I repeated it over and over in my head, until I started to believe it, just a little.

"Alright class, quiet down!" Fiona called for order, "Right, you're all settled in now, and I trust you all had an excellent holiday. Now, exciting news today. Not only are you going to learn what our new unit is, but we are gaining three new students!

"This is Ms. Alice Cullen, Mr. Jasper Hale and Mr. Edward Cullen. They have been moved from the beginners' duet class to our very own. Diane came to me this lunch time and asked for me to take them into our fold, as she taught them this morning and it seems they are much more advanced than we thought. So I want all of you to help them out and give them a chance to let their creativity flow!"

She smiled warmly at them, clasping her hands together. "Now, the new unit!"

Excited whispered filled the room. I smiled widely. Duet class always had great units, which were original and fun to work on, always very challenging.

"This term we will be doing a unit based upon the environment. Each of you will be given a plant, and you must create a duet from this plant. You can do what you want with it, as long as you are capable of describing how you got there from the stimulus."

I lit up. This project was great. It was something that held the potential of great beauty, but also reflecting the importance of the environment and global issues. Very Fiona. I was buzzing.

"We won't be doing any development on this project today. Seeing as we have three new students I would like for us to do some improvised duets, so well get a sense of their styles and also so we can all get back into the swing of improv', listening to your partners body and interpretation and duets in general. At the end of the double lesson I shall give you your plant stimulus, with particular photo shots and a small sheet of facts.

"Now everyone on your feet! Let's get you paired up, warmed up and dancing!"

We all stood quickly, eager to get going. I bounced on the balls of my feet. It felt like forever since I'd done duet work and I was beyond ready to get stuck in. I loved the sensation of dancing with a partner, someone you trust and could give your body to, and they the same in return. That ultimate trust given when dancing was a comforting feeling, and precious. The sense of flying with someone across a dance floor, creating something beautiful and wondrous was like nothing on earth. It's something I loved. I was good at solo work, but my heart called out for a partner, to match my steps and keep time with me. Duets were made for my soul.

We began to run in a circle, warming up our muscles and getting a sense of the space of the room. We warped from the circle and began to weave in and out of one another, dodging and slipping between people. We broke apart after a few minutes and spread into a rough grid shape. We kept jogging then moved into first position, stretching our arm over our heads, bending side ways. We did the same on the other side the bent over at the waist and bounced, our hands reaching out through our legs.

"Alright class, time to split up." Fiona lined us up and observed us, deciding who would go with whom. "Okay. Let's have Josie with Ben and Carley with Greg."

They paired up and moved to the side. As Fiona considered I silently begged her not to put me with any of the Cullens. Just please, have some mercy.

"Penny with Chris. Harry with Grace. Jamie with Char. Ingred with Tom."

Please not them. Please

"Alice with Jasper."

Please. Pretty please with a cherry on top!

"Izzy and…Ray."

"Yes!" I screamed, and then died of embarrassment. Opse. I coughed uncomfortably and grabbed Ray's wrist, dragging him to the other pairs. Of all the things for me to do.

"And that leaves Edward and Elle. Right, now you're all split up start practicing together and get used to movement with one another."

We all spaced out around the room. One of the great things about studios, there was always room. You could stick an army in one and there would still be room for them to do cartwheels and run about. I looked over at Elle in pity. What a person to be paired with. She looked back at me, a triumphant grin on her face. She pointed at Edward ass and mouthed 'fit!' to me. Ugh. I pulled a face and turned away. Maybe I should pity Edward more. Ha ha! What an idea. Pitying Edward. Ha!

"Hey Ray Ray. Back together again."

He threw an arm around my shoulders, "No one else I'd wanna dance with my dear. You're my dancing queen."

I took his hand and spun out, laughing all the way.

We practiced lifts and contact work, rolling over one another and jumping about. We practiced getting ourselves back into the swing of each others bodies. Ray and I had been duet dancing for a long time now, we knew the other's body like our own, recognising the smallest of movements as a pointer for a new direction or turn. We'd been dancing together for such a long time I didn't even have to think of the next move, it just flowed. We were well suited too, our bodies moulding together perfectly, no gaps or misshapes anywhere. And we were so close that contact work never became an issue, nothing was inappropriate or untouchable grounds. Which was a God given gift when it came to successful duets, I can tell you.

The lesson drew to it's conclusion before I had noticed. Again, not a surprising occurrence. Before we were given our stimulus we had to perform a piece of improv to the class each.

When Ray and I stood I started to feel slightly off put. Partner dancing's a very personal thing, both for the dancers and the people watching. It had never been a problem before. But now, knowing that people I'd once trusted, people who had hurt me, were going to see this side of me exposed, made me increasingly uncomfortable.

"Izzy, you don't have to do this." Ray whispered to me. He knew me too well.

I shook my head, "It'd be pretty pathetic to leave now." I told him, seems we were standing in the middle of the room. Besides, I wasn't about to look weak in front of them. I was different now. I was strong. And I wasn't a slave to my emotions.

We stood in position, Ray behind me, my head down, arms relaxed by my side, ready to move into anything.

A clicking filled the room, which was very quickly followed by the pulsing beat of _Right Round _by Flow Rida. I smiled inwardly. Perfect.

I felt Ray rotate his head round to match the lyrics. As it turned to the female lyrics I placed my palms on my temple, threading my fingers into my hair, and spun my head round too, matching Ray's movement perfectly. As the base slammed into the song our bodies began to pop in time with it. I arched my back so I lent on him, then collapsed down, my body folding. He tapped against my spine, indicating his hand was above my head, creating the illusion the he was pulling me up. I followed suit, pulling the effect off perfectly. We continued to twirl and pop around one another, illusion popping with each others bodies. It was a lot of fun. Free and easy. And I was sure it looked great. And in the moment I got lost into the dance I forgot about everyone else, I just enjoyed myself. I felt on top of the world. It rocked.

The song ended, Ray and I twisted into a crazy abstract freeze frame. Everyone clapped loudly (Grace whistled) and beamed at us. We bowed, because that's the silly idiots we were, and sat down, ready to watch the next couple. I was still buzzing from the dance so much that I wasn't even bothered that Edward and Elle were next.

The dance started, to a song I didn't recognise. But the beat was hot and heavy and Elle took every advantage of this. She pulled her body close to his and touched him as much as she could. It was more than a little irritating. It was hardly appropriate. They were barely improv'ing. They were more club dancing.

Don't get me wrong. Elle is a genuinely talented dancer, otherwise she wouldn't be in the class, but this really wasn't showing her skill. This was showing her lust. I wasn't convinced Edward was a bad dancer either. It continuously looked like he was trying to break away in an actual improv' dance. It just wasn't working. They just weren't the right match for one another.

The couples all finished up on their performances and settled down on the floor, waiting for Fiona to hand out our stimulus.

"Excellent. That was more interesting. It's good to see you haven't lost your spark over the summer break, which is brilliant news. I'd like to move the pairings around a little. Elle, I'd like you to work with Ben. Ingred, I'd like you to work with Edward and Tom I'd like you to work with Josie. They seem much better suited. Right, time for your stimulus'!"

She handed out blank envelopes to each couple, letting them open it here or privately. We whispered animatedly, just like kindergarteners. It was hard to quash the excitement, but it's not like we were trying.

Ray ripped our envelope open seconds after Fiona had handed it to us, just as eager as me to see what our plant was. The page read:

Plant: Almond Tree

Origin: North India, the Levant, Syria, Israel, Turkey.

Stories: Greek, Biblical, Chinese, and Indian.

Uses: Food, medicine, massage oil, beautification.

Below the writing were a few pictures of the tree, the flower and the nut.

"Guess we're meant to do the leg work for it." Ray commented, relaxing back onto his elbows.

"That makes you sound so damn lazy Ray. I think we've been given too much help as it is. But hey, Greek! How awesome is that, Greek myths are always fun to make dances to."

He laughed just as the bell rang. We grabbed our stuff and ran off to our next lesson. We parted in the hall, pecking one another on the cheek. I flew in the door of my English literature class, taking my seat quickly at the back.

To my dismay Edward and Alice entered less than a minute later, carrying their stuffed bags. I sunk down in my seat. I was eternally gratefully that the seats next to me were taken. Our teacher directed them to the second row of seats. I ignored their glances at me, staring angrily at my table. Why did they have to be here? Two lessons in a row! I mean, come on! That whole being positive about them being here thing was long gone. I was bordering on banging my head on a brick wall.

"Today class we're going to be doing poetry. This is just to get us all back into the swing of writing creatively before we move onto our next unit. I want you all to try your hardest to write a poem by the end of the lesson. It can be about what you did over the summer break, a dream, your emotions or even a pet. Just let your creativity flow and get writing. We'll see if we have enough time at the end of the lesson to read some out." Mr Chras said, sitting down at his desk and opening his book.

I pulled out my notebook and stared at the blank page. What on God's green Earth should I write? The pen sat poised in my hand and the page stayed stark white. Damn it, it couldn't be that hard!

_Alright, time to pull out the big guns._

I blanked my mind, entering a meditative state. If I couldn't think anything up with an active mind I would have to clear it and let my subconscious do the talking. Time ceased to exit as my hand flew across the page.

"Alright class, times up! Lets see what you've created." I was pulled out my revere by Mr Chras's voice. I blinked, eyes adjusting to the room. They flew down to the page below me, where a finished poem now sat, entitled _Secret Worlds._

"Why don't we hear from Izzy. Up you get!"

I stood cautiously, walking with careful precision to the front. I faced the class, notebook held in my hands, and began to read my poem.

_Fly through the night _

_Without a sound_

_Ecstasy _

_To be found _

_Kiss me quick_

_Tease me slow_

_Watch us dance_

_You'll never know_

_You shiver from the cold_

_We shiver from pleasures_

_In the darkness_

_Are all sorts of treasures_

_No taboos_

_You will find_

_In this secret world_

_To which you are blind_

_Live in our world  
Of burning desire  
Hot as blood  
Lost in the fire  
No escape  
Forever a thrill  
Only the chase  
And eventually the kill_

There was a stunned silence throughout the class before they broke into applause. I let out a small smile and sat back down, trying to ignore _their _eyes following me all the way.

"Edward, how about you next."

My head jerked up. This could be interesting. I knew Edward was creative, at least in the musical sense. Poetry though…well, I didn't know about that. Logic would lend to suggest he should be good at it.

He stood in the same place I had been moments ago.

"_You gave me life_

_You breathed it in_

_You gave me wings_

_You made me sing_

_We sat in heaven_

_We ruled the world_

_We had our love_

_We flew like doves_

_I worshiped you_

_I cared too much_

_I gave my heart_

_I had to depart_

_So take my hand_

_Let's fly away_

_On a great expedition_

_And forever live in this condition"_

I watched as he read the poem, enticed by his velvety voice. The poem was better than I had expected, but annoyingly mysterious. I was angered to find my heart clenched at him writing a poem about some girl he clearly loved desperately. Years ago I would have wished to be that girl. But I'd moved on now. I didn't need him, didn't need his love. I had my own life now, my own friends. I had people that cared about me. He could do what he wished with his distractions…even if he did love one of them.

I don't care.

_Liar,_ my heart whispered back at me. If I could I'd stick my tongue out at it, but then, that might make me seem a little more psycho than I was comfortable with.

"Excellent Mr. Cullen. Very good. Right, before you go, the next unit will be Shakespeare. A classic. So I want you to do some research on the British play writer before next lesson and begin to get an understanding of his unique style."

The bell rang out loudly, making me jump. I threw my things into my bag and hung back, waiting for the Cullen's to leave before me. I didn't want to get caught in the aisle with them. My patience was wearing thin after the long day and I wasn't sure I could cope with another conversation with them. There was only so long I could ignore what they'd done to me. That time was growing shorter and shorter.

I tried hard not to sprint for my next lesson. It was an easy one. Horsemanship. The subject had started last year, when we had realised there were a lot of wild horses on the land, and many of which had begun to make special bonds with the vampires on campus. I'd found my horse, Sapphire, in spring last year. The unique thing about the relationships were that they were very spiritually based, which meant they weren't our pets, but our own special friend, who chose to be by our side and care for us as much as we cared for them.

I rounded the corner and there she stood. She was snowy white, with a long silky mane. She always held her head proudly and ran with strong confident strides. Upon her forehead sat a thin sapphire coloured crescent moon, which matched the moon that was tattooed into my back.

I'd had the tattoo since before I'd been turned. I never actually had it tattooed into my skin; it had just appeared one day. A blazing sun was intertwined with the moon and all around it were delicate vines with pretty blooming flowers. The tattoo spread from the base of my neck, across my shoulder blades and down my spine where it flowed out into a stretched V shaped design at the base of my spine. The strangest thing about it was that it was in a glowing purple shade, the exact same colour as vampire venom. We'd come to conclusion that that's what the ink was made of, seems the tattoo had stayed imbedded on my back after I'd changed.

Sapphire trotted up to meet me, resting her head upon mine, greeting me. I kissed her moon and hugged her neck. I breathed in deeply, her deep musky scent calming me.

"Hey gorgeous."

She neighed happily and I giggled. She walked calmly beside me as we went to the stable, so I could get some proper brushes to brush her out and sign in with Mr. Jones, the horse specialist.

Sapphire waited in her usual stall as I disappeared in the tack room, where the brushes were kept. None of the horses held a contract to come to these lessons, after all, they were still wild. But those of us who had a chosen horse would rarely find ourselves alone in these lessons. Our horses wanted to be with us, chose to be with us, so they came, already knowing when we'd need them.

"Hello Izzy," Mr. Jones (aka John, yeah, I know, sucky name) greeted me, sat in a chair reading an old romance novel.

I smiled happily, "Hey John. Anyone else here?"

"Charlotte, Lucy and Blake are already here, grooming in their stalls. Francis went riding about 5 minutes ago." He told be before burying his nose back in his book.

I nodded absentmindedly, picking up and few brushes and returning to Sapphire. Brushing her had always helped my clear my head, relaxed me. It put ease to my messed up heart. She chewed on hay as I brushed out her coat, smoothing her snowy hair. I bent to check her hooves. Running about in the wild could do some damage.

They were looking fairly clean, only one had a stone embedded in it, which I prized out. I rubbed some salve into it, allowing it to heal fast and relatively painlessly. I nearly had a heart attack when I stood back up. There, outside the stall opposite mine, was Jasper, chatting to Mr. Jones.

I hastily checked the rest of the stable that was in view, checking for more of them. Thankfully it was just him. I sighed in relief, which obviously caught his attention. He looked at me for a long while, eyes boring into mine. My eyes drifted to the floor and I turned back to Sapphire, hiding behind her. Could I be more of a coward?

As I brushed out her mane I came to an agreement with myself. I'd be as civil as possible until the party was over. But I honestly couldn't hold it out after that. After the party, the welcome, I would be as rude as I pleased. I shouldn't have to restrain myself in my own house. Right? But then, didn't Christian teaching point me to the path of forgiveness? Shouldn't I forgive their past sins and welcome them with open arms? Hold them tight to my breast (ew) and allow them a second chance?

I shook my head. It just wasn't that easy. I wanted it to be, but it just wasn't. I couldn't forget how they'd left me, how they'd tore out my heart and left me empty and broken. I couldn't, wouldn't, forget that. I'd gone through Hell. And I survived. But I hadn't gotten closure. I hadn't had my say, hadn't told them how I felt. This was my time to rise and show them the real me, and what horrors I had to suffer because of them. I was entitled to that. I was entitled to closure. God help me if I wasn't.

After taking the brushes back to the tack room I climbed aboard Sapphire's back, not bothering with a saddle, it was better to ride bareback, more natural.

"Come on Sapphire. Let's go for a ride."

She took off into the grounds, flying across the land with ease. The excitement and joy she felt spread into my heart and I couldn't help but giggle with happiness. We rode through the forest; the trees caught my hair, making flowers twist into it. We rode without a care, just enjoying each others company. We slowed by a sparkling river. I dismounted, allowing Sapphire to bend and drink deeply, while I sat by the water, taking off my shoes and dipping my toes in the cool water. I enjoyed the simpleness of sitting with my feet in the water and stroking Sapphire's mane as she lay beside me, leaning against her strong back. I pulled an apple from my bag and split it in half with my penknife, offering half to Sapphire in my hand. She munched happily on it, pleased with the treat. I giggled again. Sometimes it was nice to please someone so simply.

Across the clearing a rustling broke the sound of the gentle river. From the bushes immerged a chestnut brown stallion, which had a small white smudge on his forehead. I smiled warmly at him and bent my head low in a bow, as I couldn't bow properly as I was sitting. The stallion bent one knee in return, establishing a mutual respect. I held out the other half of the apple still held in my other hand to him. He trotted forward calmly, unthreatened and sniffed it, before taking a cautious nibble. After the first bite he took a huge one, huffing his delight at the treat. I stroked his nose as he ate. He looked at me with big brown eyes. I studied them carefully.

"Who are you looking for young one?" I asked him, still caressing his nose.

Behind me came another rustling. I looked at the bushes expectantly, my eyebrow raised. Another horse?

From the bushes, this time, came a vampire. And not just any vampire. The one and only Jasper Hale. I looked back at the stallion, who had just lit up like a Christmas tree. Guess that's who he was waiting for. I guess Jasper just found his chosen horse. The chestnut stallion trotted to him and licked him right up the face. I couldn't help it. I collapsed into laughter, leaning on Sapphire for support, who was also sniggering at Jasper.

Jasper stared at me, then at the horse in front of him (who looked like he was smiling, if you can say a horse smiles). He patted him on the head tenderly.

"Um…Hi?" he said, hesitantly. Probably doesn't talk to horses much.

_Well, _I though, _that's about to change._

I smiled again. I might not like him, but finding your horse was a magical moment, and I wasn't about it ruin it. Besides, I didn't exactly need to be rude to Jasper to show my distaste of his presence. He could already feel how I truly felt.

"What's his name?" I asked, wanting him to realise how deep the connection went with this animal.

Jasper looked at me in surprise, probably forgotten I was there, "How should I kn-"

I cut him off with a look. I spoke slowly and precisely, conveying my meaning, "What's his name?"

He looked at me for a second before turning to the stallion, observing him.

"Raj" he told me gently, petting him again.

I smiled warmly, remembering how I'd felt exactly the same when I'd met Sapphire by one of the lakes. Nothing compared to finding one of your familiars.

I stood, drying my feet on the emerald grass and climbed onto Sapphire's back.

Looking back at Jasper I called, "Take him for a ride, you'll both enjoy it. Besides, it's good to get a feel for your chosen horse, might as well do it while your out here with him. Make the first meeting last as long as you can. It's not something you'll forget."

Jasper gave me a nod of thanks before I rode off into the forest. I mused as we rose. That hadn't been terrible. I'd been civil; we'd exchanged words, barely. It had been fine. Tonight would be fine. I was sure of it.

I met Ray and Grace back at the dorm, where they we bustling around putting up silver streamers and shiny star shaped decorations. I greeted them, throwing my bag to the side and joining them. Grace and I levelled a banner, while Ray and Lucas pushed the furniture around to make room for dancing, but keeping them about to sit and relax on.

I left the main room to sort out things in the kitchen. Punching in the key code I took several blood packs from the fridge, placing them on the side. Some people loved champagne at a party, others loved blood. It paid to keep everyone happy. I checked on the mini quiches cooking in the oven, along with mini sausage rolls and tacos. In the fridge were tiny cuts of strawberry cheese cake, cups of Jell-o and chocolate brownies. I pulled out some eggs, milk and butter, placing them on the counter before opening the cupboard and loading my arms with coco powder, flour, chocolate chips and sugar. I put them next to the other ingredients the sat a bowl, knife, whisk and scale on the counter top.

I set to work mixing the ingredients. The secret to amazing cookies was to add just one egg. This helped them keep moist and cakey. I hummed to myself as I worked. I'd lied to the Cullens when I'd told them that I didn't really cook anymore. But then, baking wasn't cooking was it? Either way I still cooked a lot. I loved to. It was relaxing, something I knew, something familiar. After so much had changed it was nice to go back to something that I'd always had. It was just a shame I couldn't cook for Charlie anymore. He wouldn't let me even if I was still living with him.

As I worked the dough with a wooden spoon my mind wondered to my father. I hurt to know I hadn't spoken to him in nearly two years. I hadn't written, he hadn't called. Neither of us had visited one another. Jake had told him where I was not long after I'd started at the academy. Bless Jacob, he'd tried his best to get us talking, but it just wasn't happening. I was beginning to regret the whole thing. Well, not beginning. I'd been wishing to talk to Charlie for a long time now. It had been bad for too long. I wanted my daddy. I never thought I'd see that day. But I truly did want my daddy. All this mess here, though he didn't know the truth about the Cullens, he understood my relationship with them, he knew. He could understand like no one else could. But I couldn't bring myself to pick up that phone and call him. What he'd done, what he'd said. The words still hurt. It was stupid, and I knew he'd been right. But I just couldn't forget how much it had hurt, how cold he'd been. The day after our fight I'd cleared out, gone to live with Jacob in La Push. Charlie had tried to talk to me at first, but the attempts had died out, melting into silence. And more silence. And now it was like we'd never even met. And it hurt, so much.

Under my hands lay a log of cookie dough. I steadily picked up a knife and began cutting it into chunks, shaping them in my palms to cookie shapes. Suddenly there were a pair of hands grabbing the chunks from me,

"Here, you cut, I'll shape," Ray said softly, studying my face, "Deal?"

I smiled warily at him and nodded once. I continued to cut, not speaking. I couldn't find the words. And small talk was just pathetic when it came to Ray and me. We were too close.

We placed the cookies in the oven, letting them bake happily. I sat back glumly, leaning against the counter. Damn, I'd just made cookies depressed out my head. I hope they didn't taste funny.

Ray took hold of my arm gently, pulling me into a warm hug, "Shh Iz, it's going to be okay. Stop worrying about it. We're here for you, we always will be."

I clung to his shirt, grateful for the familiarity, the sense of _home_. I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs. Ray smelt like apples and cinnamon. He smelt like family. His warmth was like curling up on the sofa on a winter day when you were five years old, the old throw over you, snoozing in the heat of the fire. He was comfortable and safe and _home_.

He tilted my head up, staring me in the eye, "Your family loves you, never ever forget that, okay?"

"Okay." I whispered hoarsely back. He smiled boyishly back at me then dragged my out of the kitchen, all the way up the curved staircase and down the hall to my bedroom.

He entered with ease, one of the few people allowed into my bedroom so freely. I went and stood by the window, watching the sun slowly drag closer to the horizon, staining the trees a deepening red. I found myself spacing out, caught within the landscape. If Ray hadn't been here to guide me away from the window I would have been there for hours.

My limbs felt heavy and my eyes stung. I wanted to do nothing more than sleep for hours and hours.

"Lets get you into your dress before you completely pass out." He chuckled.

I tugged my clothes off, not caring where they landed. It didn't matter that Ray was here, we were far too close for that. Stupid boundaries like that didn't exist in the Moon dorm. I pulled on the dress he passed me, not even looking at which one it was. I tried to stay on my feet so he could tie the ribbon lacing at the back. The last thing I remembered before I passed out was the cool metal touching my forehead and forearm, and Ray's gentle singing…

Ray's POV (YAY!)

Izzy collapsed into my waiting arms, head falling into my chest. I smoothed back her silky hair adoringly and placed her softly on the bed, settling into the cushioned armchair.

As I watched her sleep I tried to rein in my thoughts. I knew what I felt wasn't right, I knew that she needed me and that's what should matter. But as she slept I couldn't help but admire her stunning beauty. The pure heart she had shining through her face, oozing from her pores. Her curls fell across her shoulders, shining like the silver circlet on her head, which came to a point to rest on her forehead. The long dress made her milky skin even paler, but it just added to her heavenly beauty.

I couldn't help myself. I was in love with Isabella de Barbaron.

I always had been. Since the first day she started here. She'd been human then, but no less stunning. Her soul shone out, lighting up the world around her. My whole being was drawn to her. It tore at my heart to be away from her. Over the course of that year we became firm and intimate friends. She knew about us, which just made it so much easier. She'd convinced me to become an animal eater. And when she'd turned we'd even gone hunting together. She'd held my hand and shared my pain. She'd always been there. She was perfect, an angel. My world.

But alas we'd grown closer and close…as friends. And she'd never seen me as anything beyond that. I knew that. I knew at best I was a brother. But God help me I still loved her. It didn't matter that she didn't know, that she didn't return it. As long as I could live in her light it didn't matter.

So instead I hid my feelings and stayed by her side. I was everything she needed me to be. And it would stay that way, until I died. Or by some miracle her heart became mine. But it was unhealthy to wish for the impossible.

So here I sat, by her bed, caring for her when she needed me most. As a friend, a brother. Family. I waited as the Izzy I knew sunk deeper and deeper into her mind, and for the spirit of the school to rise up, temporarily taking her place, inhabiting her body, to greet the new students.

The Cullens.

Who had hurt Izzy.

My Izzy.

My blood boiled. It took all my willpower to calm myself. To turn my mind away from cruel unyielding thoughts. It wasn't my place. This wasn't my battle. The best I could hope to do was stand by Izzy's side and lend my strength when she needed it most. Like now.

Her form shifted on the bed. Around it it held a faint glow, shining with the spirit of the school, the magic of the land. She sat gracefully, even more so than a vampire. Her eyes opened with ease and glowing opal one's looked back at me, multicoloured lightening sparkling in them.

"Good day Ryan. I trust you are well my child." She asked musically, voice a gentle whisper.

I nodded and stood, placing my fist over my heart and bowing respectfully.

"Yes great Lady. We are honoured to have you with us tonight."

I offered my hand, which she took tenderly, "It's forever pleasant to be with my children. I so rarely get to interact with you all."

I bowed my head politely again, before leading her towards the grand staircase. Below the party was well underway. I stood at the top and cleared my throat. The party drifted into silence.

"May I introduce our great Lady Terra!" I bowed, stepping aside to reveal her to everyone below. Every vampire in the room closed a fist over their hearts and bowed deeply to her, falling to their knees. She smiled the same warm smile to them as she had to me before descending the stairs. She floated airily down them, hand barely touching the banister.

I followed after her, hovering by her shoulder, in case she should need my services. The job was the serve her while she resided in Izzy's body, I wasn't about to fail her.

"Rise my children. Your presence and love warms my heart. Please go and enjoy this wonderful evening." She sang in a voice that was both a whisper, but yet perfectly heard by everyone here.

People stood and returned to their discussions, only stopping to smile welcomingly at Lady Terra as she passed them.

"Where are my beloved new children?" she asked me, watching the room.

I pointed to across the room, where the Cullens stood, actually talking to some of the other students. Lady Terra floated towards them, hands poised beautifully by her side, chiffon caught in the passing air, making her appear more unreal than before. They looked up as she approach, stunned.

"This is Lady Terra, the heart of this land," I told them, before they could come to the misconception that it was actually Izzy.

"Welcome my children. I take great happiness to know you are within the safe circle of my arms at last. I have long awaited your arrival here. It has been far too long a time."

She moved forward, kissing each on them on each cheek.

"Emmett, dear. You delightful nature is much welcome. Laughter is always needed in the student's hearts. Your kind nature will be needed in the darkest of times.

"Darling Rosaline. You fear you shallow heart, but do not. I can see your shining soul; you are a deeper creature than you believe. You're loyalty will bloom for your fellow brothers and sisters here, as my loyalty to you blooms ten fold.

"Jasper, young one. Fear not for your control. My arms will keep you safe and you're desires your heart feels will forever override you physical desires for the innocent's blood. You need be no one but yourself here.

"Sweet beloved Alice. My voice called you to this place, a place you were destined to be. This will forever be your home, your escape, your utopia. Here you will find relief from the visions that plague you and the deep love you have always desired. Love beyond a mate. Here you truly belong.

"Ah, cherished Edward. You heart it so pain, I feel it deeply, even in this earthly body. What you most desire is destined to be yours, but you must be true to your heart. Should you stray from the honest and loyal path your road will cease to be clear. Remember this dear Edward, fore it shall help you capture your love's heart once again."

She stepped away, watching them lovingly. They all looked a little shell-shocked.

I stepped in once more, offering a little relief, "When there are new students, or times that call for the our great Lady to be with us in person, Lady Terra inhabits Izzy's body, as she is the only one of us who can sustain her spirit. Izzy doesn't remember the events that have passed, only that the spirit of the land had been with her."

Some of them nodded with brief understanding before continuing to stare at Lady Terra. She did something she rarely did, she giggled.

"Oh dear, Ryan, I seemed to have stunned them. Perhaps I should remove myself for a time to allow them to recover, hm?" she smiled once more before leaving the Cullens be. I smirked at the Cullens, and then scolded myself for my cruel attitude in Lady Terra's presence. With an apologizing nod I turned to follow her, watching her interact with the students, offering them praise and love.

_There is no other vessel more fitting for her, _I thought, watching her give, her loving nature.

She faintly touched students' arms for a fleeting moment before removing herself. It was well known that most could not handle her touch, which even in a physical form, was too powerful, too pure for the students to handle. But as soon as her fingers connected to their cold skin you could see them glow, like the sun had just light up in their soul. I knew the feeling well though. You couldn't help but respond to the love that shot through your heart the moment she touched you. It was indescribable.

The evening drew one with ease, remaining light and entertaining throughout. I chuckled as I noticed Izzy's cookies were long gone, as always, then internally hit myself on the head. I hadn't remembered to grab one before they were put out. Damn. Guess I'd have to wait for the next batch she cooked.

The champagne and blood went down a treat, delighting the students. The small deserts and bites filled everyone's plates and both the dance floor and the chairs were occupied. The soft glow of the lights kept the room semi dark and inviting, while lighting it enough to seem comforting and fresh. The lower lighting, however, made Lady Terra's glow even more pronounced.

As the clock slid past two am Lady Terra's form began to wilt, losing energy. Izzy's spirit was starting to awaken, and the magic of the land was starting to fade back to its natural home.

I brushed my fingers over her arm, "Great Lady, perhaps it is time to retire."

"Hmm," she replied, "Yes, indeed."

I kept my hand hovering over the base of her spine, in case she should require the support. She paused on the staircase, turning back to the party, "Good eve my children. Take love and tenderness in all you do, and forever know my love for you all stretched strong and true for all eternity. Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again. Blessed be."

A returning "Blessed be" rolled through the room before a respectful bow from each student. We continued up the stairs and down to Izzy's room. I closed to door quietly behind us. When I turned I found Lady Terra watching my gently.

"Ryan," she said, "I know you heart grows heavy with the love you feel for young Isabella. But you will serve her better as a brother, than a lover."

My heart constricted. But suddenly I was grateful Izzy didn't remember the periods of time Lady Terra was in her body.

"She's out there Ryan, your mated one. She's coming, I can feel her, and the ground reaches for her as she nears. She will come, Ryan, soon. You are destined to be loved. Have patience young one."

She kissed me on the cheek, leaving a white glow where her lips had been. She floated to the bed, her frame growing weaker and weaker the closer her departure came. She lay upon the bed, eyes drifting close.

_Be happy, you are loved, and your will is my own. Never doubt your heart, your soul, my child…_

Her voice whispered to me in my mind before the soft white glow dissipated into the air, her spirit returning to the land, leaving Izzy's frame drained and very much asleep. I settled into the armchair once more, watching over her. And not long after my own heavy eyes drifted close.


	5. The Right Thing

**A/N: Ok, so i have no idea how long it's been since i updated, but i'm going to say atleast a year, maybe too. I have no excuses, so don't ask for any. But the point is I'm now updating and hopefully I won't be falling off the radar again. I am now studying Creative Writing at university and finally I can do the thing I love for a living! So excited! I'm majorly in love with someone very special and we've now been together for nearly 2 years. My creative juices are flowing and I am loving and swimming in this story right now, I have so many ideas and I've been writing this chapter for the past few days and I look forward to starting the next one.**

**I'm not expecting to have the same amazing people still following this story, I definately would have expected you all to have made you dos with me not updating ever again and moved on. I can't blame you, so I say hello to a new crowd and a loving goodbye (or a very eternally grateful THANKS FOR STICKING AROUND! to the people who are still reading!) to those who have moved on. Enjoy the chapter, I hope it is both better than previous ones and as entertaining as the last. Please review, don't hate for the absence, it has no regards to the story so don't burn for it.**

Chapter Five

The Right Thing

My head hurt, a lot. Hangovers were one thing, but this was something else. The room blurred into view, my eyes stung from the brightness and I groaned loudly. Something moved to my side and I shot up then instantly regretted it. The world spun and tilted and hands pushed me back to the bed.

"Easy," a man said, Ryan, "Get your bearings."

I closed my eyes briefly and waited for things to stop moving. My throat scratched and croaked as I tried to speak. Something touched my lips, cold and hard, glass. I opened my mouth and swallowed, my cracked throat burning. I coughed, choking on the water. Ryan brought a cloth to my mouth, wiping away the water. I heard a whoosh.

"Ok, you can open your eyes now."

I slowly peeled my eyes open, the harsh sting of daylight muted by the thick curtains.

"What time is it?" I croaked.

Ryan placed the glass in my hand, checking that it wasn't shaking too much, "Sip it." He warned me.

I brought the glass up slowly, taking small sips. The clear liquid burned less the second time round and helped settle me. A plate of bread was placed on my lap and Ryan gave me a pointed look. He took the water from me and replaced it with a glass of blood. I smiled weakly and drank as I waited for him to answer my question.

He relaxed back in his chair and watched me eat, "It's 4:42 in the morning, and it's only Sunday, before you ask. You haven't slept half the week away like last time."

I snuffled a laugh and continued to sip at my blood. I tried to recall Friday night but the whole thing blurred and melted into blackness in my head, like always. I drained the glass and placed it on the side.

"Good, there's enough time to get ready. Can you turn on the shower for me?" I threw my legs over the side of the bed and flattened them to the warm floor, bracing myself. I pushed myself up, thankful that the world didn't tilt again.

"Are you sure your –"

"I'm fine Ryan, really. I just need a good long shower. Please." Slowly I walked towards the bathroom, Ryan ahead of me. The shower flared to life before I even reached the doorway.

"Thank you."

Ryan took one last doubtful look at me then left to get ready himself.

I stripped off the long white shift and stepped into the hot downpour. My curls unravelled in the water and my skin turned bright pink under it, the only time it could change noticeably. It washed away the confusion and helped me focus. And so I began the regular routine, I washed my hair, I lathered my body and I brushed my teeth. I stepped out onto the fluffy bathmat and pulled a towel around me, quickly drying myself off. I didn't even bother drying my hair, I just twisted it up and pinned it in place, then moved back to the bedroom to get my clothes. Time was running out, if I didn't hurry I'd be late.

I stood naked in front of my wardrobe, trying to get my mind to work properly. Grabbing a skirt and shirt that looked like they matched I dressed quickly and headed out. Ryan was already downstairs, holding another bottle of blood and my old canvas bag. I was about to rush out the door when I noticed the Cullen's staring at us from the lounge. With a sigh I reprimanded myself and turned to them.

"Are you coming?" I asked, taking a swing of the blood.

They looked at me, puzzled, "Where?"

"Church."

"At 5:15 in the morning?"

I stopped and rubbed my temple. "Actually, service begins at 5:30am. It's a service for just us vampires, before the other students are awake…look are you coming or not?"

They looked doubtfully at one another. I took their silence as an answer.

"Well, you're welcome anyway. See you."

I rushed out the door, already running late. I chugged down the blood, hating to stuff myself with it, but knowing if I didn't I wouldn't gain my strength as fast.

The church loomed ahead, glowing in the predawn light. Our church wasn't huge, it accommodated our numbers, but it was our pride and joy, modern mixed with traditional. The arch was made from rich mahogany which led into the original columns holding up the building. The doors were standing open, carvings of the God's finest creations upon it. Ryan and I bustled down the aisle and took our seats near the front, waiting for Father John to arrive.

The sounds of the night drifted in through the door, the steady song of the crickets, the hum of the forest, the wind in the long grass, the peace of the night. The calm before dawn. I closed my eyes and listened, the gentle breeze blowing away my unease, the tension in my body, in my heart. I relaxed into my seat and felt at peace for the first time in weeks.

A door swung shut and I opened my eyes to find Father John at the front of the church, smiling pleasantly.

"Welcome dear ones. May God's love be with you all. Now, let us sing our first hymn."

We stood, taking out our hymn books. The piano began and we say 'In the arms of the angel', our voices rising together. The love, the warmth, it spread through the room, rising with our voices and filling us. And so the service began.

Father John's voice rang through the church, teaching us of the love God has for all His creatures, no matter what they are. Today's sermon focused on acceptance, acceptance of our gift from Him, acceptance of the life we chose to lead, acceptance that God did love us. Halfway through Father John's service I heard footsteps approaching. I turned in my seat to look at the door, where Alice and Emmett stood, looking uncomfortable. My heart softened. I rose from my seat and walked towards them, smiling. I took their hands and led them to an empty pew, "Welcome."

I smiled at them again, and then went back to my own pew, where Ryan sat, looking at me questioningly. I squeezed his hand and breathed deep, turning my attention towards to front of the church.

The rest of the service continued without interruption, following its usual routine. We bent to pray as the run rose on the horizon and set the stain glass windows ablaze. An 'amen' rang through the church and with that the service was over. People stood to leave, others gathered outside to talk. I made my way to Father John, hoping to talk to him before he left.

"Ah, Izzy, how are you my dear?" he asked me.

I smiled, comforted by the old priests warmth, "I'm…I'm coping." I confessed.

He glanced at our two new members, "I understand. Would you care to talk to me, perhaps it may help."

Father John always knew exactly what someone needed, "That would be amazing, thank you. Are you free after lunch?"

"Of course dear. Until then trust in God and He shall give you strength." He kissed my forehead and I left him to go rest. After all, he had another service at 10. I wasn't surprised though, to see him approach Alice and Emmett before he retired to his room.

I stepped out into the sunlight, feeling it wash over me, my faith renewed and my strength replenished.

* * *

I stepped into Diane's office, taking a moment to stare at the beautiful collection of stain glass windows in the room. My mother coughing brought my attention back to the room. I smiled warmly and sat in front of her desk. She leaned back in her over stuffed leather chair, blowing out a breath.

"So, how's it going?" she asked.

I grinned at her very teenage comment then sobered up. I knew what she was really asking. How's it going with the Cullen's?

I fiddled with the locket around my neck, "To be honest, freaking terrible. I just don't know what to do Diane. It's…it's just so frustrating having them here in my home, invading it!"

"It's their home too now, you need to remember that. This is their home, their family."

I fought a growl, "It's not their family yet. They haven't proved themselves."

Diane inclined her head, "I'll give you that one. But it is their home and Lady Tera accepted them with open arms, even called them here. So you need to do the same. And fast. I don't want a weakness in loyalties that someone could pick at. We've built a good home, a strong home, here, we need to protect it."

"I'm trying Diane, I really am. You don't…I'm trying." I rose and drifted over to the bookcase and began to stroke the large leather bound volumes there, tracing the gold lettering and worn spines. I tried to let the sun and sounds calm me with the familiarity of it all. It was working until Diane spoke again.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen wish to see you. They do not know who you are, but they wish to meet the wonderful woman who has been caring for their children," She gave me a pointed look, driving the last bit home, "I want you to visit them this afternoon, after you have seen Father John."

My heart dropped out of my chest. Carlisle, Esme. Oh God. If my heart still beat I fear I would have had a cardiac arrest. Their rejection had been almost as scarring at Edward's. How could I look at them and not see them walking away from me?

_God, please help me._

"Isabella." I turned to my mother, "You can do this. They need to see you, and you need to be the woman their expecting to see. I know you won't let me down."

I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the thick lump in my throat. Nodding I picked up my bag. As I opened the door I heard Diane's voice from her bookcase.

"It's festival day this Friday, don't forget to tell the Cullen's the theme so they can prepare."

I sighed, "Yes Diane."

* * *

It's not a brilliant thing to have something you don't want to think of happen on your day off. I chewed my lip heavily, my fangs scratching me more than once. I pulled out all my files in my 'in-box' and began to work through all my paper work. Bills, complaints, requests, behaviour reports, inventory, the list goes on. And it worked. The endless piles of paper occupied my mind and I found myself sipping a glass of blood while fretting over keeping the moon dorm running smoothly.

At some point Ryan came down and joined me, halving the work to do, but it offered random chatter instead, which was just as satisfying. I found him a glass of blood to ease the work and we began to plough through it again.

The reason it was so important that Ryan learn to do all the things I did, and was capable of processing the paper work and such like, was because should anything happen to him it fell to him to lead in my place. It was his task to govern the moon dorm and control any situations that may occur.

I knew soon we'd have to start infusing Lady Tera into him, so he would be able to handle her presence without me. It was a hard task, wary and long. It would be something best done out of term time, at Christmas when it won't interfere with his lessons. I turned this over in my head, suddenly concerned at the dangerous practice. Fear struck me, what if he wouldn't hold the energy. I chewed my lip again, a new worry take hold of me. I couldn't lose Ryan, he was my dearest friend, and the perfect candidate for my place in the Moon dorm. If he couldn't sustain the presence then no one would be able to. I didn't know what harm would come to him as the spirit passed through him. I had had to build my ability to hold our lady in my form, build my endurance. The first time had been a fluke. Simply an accident. I had still been human when the earth had first touched me, collecting flowers for my room. I'd slipped on the ground and struck my head on a rock and fallen unconscious. When I woke I was in my bed, a huge bouquet of wild flowers in a vase by my head. A letter in soft floral handwriting lay on the desk. Lady Tera had written a letter telling me she had awoken inside me and she had mended my wound, taken some flowers and allowed me to rest in comfort before she felt herself depart. Shock had hit me like a sledge hammer. I had had someone, no, something, _inside _me.

It had taken me quite some time to come to terms with the bizarre event. It wasn't until I was turned that I was able to commune with Lady Tera again. We'd slowly come to realise our connection and began to work together to bring people to her land. But the experience of her spirit passing in and through me, of trying to allow my spirit to rest on another plain of existence and allow her intense power to reside inside me, without destroying me, was intensely painful and difficult. The thought of Ray experiencing the same thing made me shudder.

"Hey," Ray's voice broke me out of my thoughts, "Jo wants a chandelier in her bathroom?"

I looked pointedly at Ray and began to chuckle to myself. Jo did have a thing for excess luxury, "Tell Jo if she wants a chandelier in her bathroom she can take a couple of nights in a tent of ol' man Greg's bog, then ask me again."

He shared my grin, "Will do."

I smiled, then looked at the clock. The long hang swung into place at 12 and I officially called an end to paper work.

"I'm ganna head over to Father John and see how he is. Besides, I know he's dying to get his hands on my cookies."

Ray took my hand and squeezed it tight, then kissed it lightly, "It's ganna be ok you know. We're always here for you, you'll never be without your family."

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, "I love you brother."

"I love you too."

* * *

I pushed the heavy church doors open, knocking as I did, "Father John?"

Above me I heard a thump, "Upstairs my dear!"

Father John lived above the church, in it's rafters I guess, so that he could be on call at any point should someone need him. I walked up the spiral staircase to his apartment. I had only been here once before, when I had first taken up residence here. His lounge was warm and cosy, surprising considering the small space he lived in.

He sat in a huge deep red armchair with a large volume and small reading glasses perched on his nose. He smiled at me and invited me to sit with him.

"I understand you're having some problems with the new residence?"

I fiddled with the cushion beside me, suddenly very conscious of my behaviour over the past few days.

"I'm finding it very hard to be…positive towards them."

He placed the volume on the coffee table, "How about I make some tea?"

He returned with two steaming cups of herbal tea and a knowing smile.

Suddenly everything I'd been holding in gushed out of me, "Father, I don't know what to do. I want to do the right thing, I want to be the same loving person to our new students as I am to all my other brothers and sisters here, but I can't do it. My past, my emotions, I can't get past that, I can't let go of what they put me through. I want to be a good person, but it's so hard."

He took my hand, "You are a good person Isabella, but the matters of the heart are the things that challenge us the most and what reveals the person we truly are."

"I don't know what to do anymore."

Father John sighed and fixed a steady gaze on me, "I can't imagine what conflict you must feel. I know past events with this family has left you heartbroken, I remember the state you arrived here in, how lost you were. But I also know you a loyal and honest Christian, and you believe in the love of God. You know in your heart what is the right thing to do. When you accept the past and allow yourself to let go, then you can begin to atone for your reaction to the Cullens' arrival here."

I sipped on my tea more and thought about what he'd said, "I'm not sure I'm strong enough to do that."

Father John patted my knee and smiled warmly, "No one ever does. But it doesn't matter if you think your strong enough, God knows you are and He will send you as much love and courage as you need to follow his path. Have no fear my child, you can do this."

* * *

I stared at my reflection and bit my lip. The skirt seemed too white and the shirt to sharp, it's teal bright against my pale skin. I looked awful. I couldn't go like this.

I shook my head and left before I could change my mind again. This was my fifth outfit afterall. Enough was enough. I had to stop stalling.

Pulling part of my hair back into a clip I grabbed my bag and raced pout the front door for the cottage the man and woman I loved so dearly now lived.

The forest blurred as I ran, my feet barely touching the floor before they were in the air again. I tried to let the cool air calm me but it had little success. The phantom, erratic beat of mu heart drummed in my ears and I couldn't help but gasped for unneeded breath the closer I came.

I came to an abrupt stop outside a thatch cottage. The faint smell of paint lingered in the air, no doubt Esme had been decorating. Stroking the warm wood of the gate I lifted it up from it's tilted angle to release the catch. I walked down the front path, my heels clicking gently on the ground. I hesitated as the front door opened.

A woman with a soft face and long dark honey hair stepped out into the sunlight. She glanced behind her and called for Carlisle, then looked at me for the first time in three years. Her eyes met mine and her smile faultered.

"Bella?"

I smiled weakly and fought the urge to run into her arms.

"I'm going by Izzy now. Isabella de Barbaron. I believe you requested to see me."

She met me a few steps short of the door, "Oh darling, we've missed you."

_Then why did you leave?_ I thought woefully.

"You've changed so much! I never thought I'd see you in heels! And turned, you make a fine vampire my dear. It suits you. So beautiful. It warm my heart to know you are here and well. Come in, come in."

She bustled me inside and gestured into the lounge. Carlisle stood by the hearth, which stood dormant in the day's heat. His reaction wasn't much different from his wife's, though it was more subtle.

He smiled and embraced me too, "You are a sight for sore eyes, Bella."

I knew had I been human I'd be awash with a bright blush, "Izzy, please."

He rose an eyebrow but didn't question me further. He studied my sharp blue eyes.

"You'll have to tell me about that someday."

My lips tugged upwards, "Yes sir."

They invited me to sit on the cream couch, Esme returning with a pitcher of homemade lemonade.

"So…how have you been?" I asked, trying to fill the continuing silence. Though it occurred to me that perhaps I didn't want to know how well they'd been doing without me.

Carlisle smiled at me, "Well, though we've missed you greatly. We've travelled from place to place, it's been hard to settle these past few years. Everyone went their separate ways after we left Forks. Alice and Jasper went south to Peru and Rose and Emmett travelled to Alaska to see our neighbour coven up there. Edward went south to Brazil for a while, but I believe he spent a great deal of time in Thailand. Mostly I think he just wanted time to himself. I must say though, it was nice to have some time to ourselves." He kissed Esme on the cheek and they shared an intimate look that made me avert my eyes for a moment.

The news of Edward's 'alone time' didn't convince me for a second. I knew what he'd really been doing, the 'distractions' he'd been amusing himself with. I tried to dampen the rage I felt at the lies he had told me years ago, remembering Father John's words. I worried my locket, trying to calm myself and listen to Esme.

"Yes, it is refreshing to have some quiet time. And Connecticut was lovely, though I much preferred our brief time in Scotland. And had some to at the island, which we haven't been to since our last honeymoon." She giggled and entwined her fingers with her husbands.

A shock of jealousy raced through me and my mind wandered to when I used to hold someone's hand like that. God, it felt like so long ago. I lent forward and let the cold glass numb the sensation of loss my fingers felt.

"Mom, dad, we're here!" Emmett's voice rang through the house. My hand froze, drink frozen in midair.

_What are they doing here? _I thought, panicking.

_They live here, stupid,_ my mind answered back.

Time seemed to slow down. Suddenly I was on my feet, glass dangling by my side. Carlisle and Esme watched us as the younger Cullen's entered the room. My eyes met Edwards, standing at the front. His mouth opened.

"What are you –"

"Your parent's requested to see me, as the person responsible for your integration into the academy." I spoke quickly, panicking under the tense air, trying to convey my desire to keep our hostility hidden from Carlisle and Esme.

His eyes tightened for a moment then he glanced at his parents, "Of course they did."

"I should probably get going, you clearly came to spend some time together." I bend to pick up my bag.

Esme jumped from her seat, "No, no, please stay. We haven't seen you in so long, I'd hate for you to leave so suddenly."

I stared at her loving gaze for a moment before submitting, "Of course. My time is all yours, I wouldn't dream of leaving."

I slowly sank back into the couch, though I sound myself perched on the edge, ready to leave if necessary at any given moment. The Cullens took up seats around the room, though the place beside me was greatly avoided. I swallowed hard, seeing Esme's eager expression, and settled in for a long stay.

* * *

Jasper's POV

I watched Izzy shrewdly. I had been startled to find her here but her own reaction of panic had confused me. I guess she just hadn't been expecting us to visit our parents today. She sat on edge, looking wound up like a spring ready to uncoil. I still didn't understand her severe discomfort around us, but I knew it was more complicated than she simply held a grudge over us moving away from Forks. What was more curious was her overwhelming sense of love she felt when Esme and Carlisle spoke to her, but the sharp pain that came with it.

_What is going on in her head?_ I thought to myself. Edward's expression and deep frustration told me he wanted to know the very same thing.

"So, Izzy, how long have you been at the academy?" Carlisle asked, sipping on his lemonade.

She looked up, startled out of her thoughts, "Oh, um…I guess it'll be two years in March."

"You seem very happy here," The words left my mouth before I could think and I instantly regretted them. Thought it might make our parents happy to know Izzy was happy I knew it caused us, Edward and Alice particularly, sorrow to know she could find such levels of happiness without them. And it was clear that our presence upset that contentment.

Izzy smiled back at me, though her eyes were glazed and sadness wrapped around her, "Yes, the academy and the people, my mother, they've given me so much joy, so much hope. I owe them a lot."

"Why do you keep calling Diane your mother? What about Renee?" Edward asked from his seat at the edge of the room, his eyes trained on Izzy.

She played with the locket at her throat nervously, eyes cast down, "She died."

Intense grief filled me. I remember seeing Renee once, seeing the light of life she carried and the love she felt for her only daughter. I couldn't imagine her cold and buried in the earth. Beside me my darling wife clasped her hand over her mouth, eyes sparkling with tears that couldn't fall.

"She died?"

Izzy shook of the heavy cloud of grief and nodded, "Yes. Two years ago she developed a rapid tumour in her brain and died a few months after the diagnosis."

Edward clenched his fists, "What about Charlie?"

"Charlie's fine." Her lips pinched tightly for a moment before she took a long draft of lemonade, clenching the glass a little too tight. She placed the glass on the table and stood.

"Look, I really should get going, I have a lot to do and I'm sure you all need some time to yourselves. I just wanted to introduce myself and I guess I have now so I should go."

Esme stood and walked with her to the door, "All we really wanted to say was thank you for taking care of our children and helping them get used to everything. This is a bigger shock then usual."

Her face turned paler than normal and guilt washed through her heavy and demanding. It wasn't helped by Rose's attitude.

"Yes, thank you _so_ much for all your _help_. We'd be at a loss without you."

Izzy sighed heavy and turned to look our parents in the eye, "They're right. I haven't done anything worthy of thanking. I've been less than civil and of very little help to them. I haven't encouraged socialisation with them and to be honest I've been down right rude with them."

Our parents blinked in shock.

"I'm very sorry, to all of you, for my behaviour and hostility. It was uncalled for and I'm ashamed of it. I can assure you it won't happen again and I will perform the task set to me properly and effectively from this moment on. I hope, one day, you can accept my apology and work well at this academy, together."

She settled her bag on her shoulder, trying to push away feelings of guilt and embarrassment, but failing.

"I won't take up any more of your time."

She fled out the door, though I could feel her shame miles beyond our house.

We all looked at one another, shocked at the sudden confession.

"Would someone please explain what is going on?"

* * *

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	6. That Complicates Things

**A/N: Next chapter is finally up! This chapter has alot of new info in and a big surprise. So enjoy! **

**I can't stress how important it is to review. I need to know what you think of the story, how it's unfolding and where you want/think it should go. PLEASE REVIEW! I know how many people are reading it, and out of 86 people, only 4 left a review! Please! The feedback is needed!**

**I****t makes me happy to know people are still reading this and i know you'd want your work reviewed, if it were you. I ask because if you don't like something i can't make it better unless i know something is wrong!**

**oh, and Jessie, it was Carlisle talking in the previous chapter at the end! Sorry I wasn't able to message you!**

* * *

Chapter Six

That Complicates Things

I was midway through a blood drive form when a soft knock came from the front doors of the moon dorm. I look at Ray next to me and Lucas slouching by my feet on the floor. They both shrugged and I stood to answer the door. When I pulled the heavy door open I found Dr. Carlisle Cullen looking back at me, smiling gently.

"Isabella, a pleasure."

I fought a giggle and welcomed him inside, "Hey Lucas, can you go get the Cullen's, tell them their dad's here to see them."

"No, no! I have no doubt I shall see them before my visit if over, but I actually came to talk to you Isabella, if you don't mind."

Surprise filled me, "Uh, sure. Um, follow me."

I walked him up the grand staircase towards my room where we could have more privacy. Well, as much privacy as you could in a vampire dorm. He shut the door behind me and I placed the form in my hand on the bed.

"What can I do for you Dr. Cullen?" I asked, very confused.

He smiled charmingly, "Isabella, I believe we've known each other too long for you to call me such a formal name."

I grinned, "I could say the same to you sir."

He returned my bright smile, "I'm here to ask you about your eyes. It has been intriguing me since I saw you several days ago and I must confess I have no theory to explain the phenomenon."

I bent beside my bed and pulled out a heavy black box, which barely fit under the frame. Keying in the code I lifted the lid and pulled out a thick folder which lay at the top. I promptly closed the box and shoved it under the bed again.

"I believe this is everything you'll need. It's numerous medical forms and observations that have been written since I became a vampire. It appears that there is a unusually high venom count in my system which causes me to have such abnormal eye colour. There is a hormone produced in my body that increases the production of venom in my body."

Carlisle flicked through the papers, taking in the information, "Extraordinary! I wonder how your body continued to produce the hormone. Does this mean your feeding must be more regular?"

I nodded, watching him read, "Feeding was an issue at first but when I realised what was happening I just upped my feeding habits and since have had no problem."

Carlisle nodded slowly, still reading. I mused at his studious expression. A thought occurred to me.

"Would you like a sample?"

"Mmm? Pardon?" he asked, half gone in the research.

"Of my venom? A sample?"

He looked up at me in surprise, "Is that possible?"

I chuckled. The amount of time I had had venom taken for research or observation, it was more than possible. I pulled a black box from my writing desk and took out the syringe. I stood in front of the mirror to make sure I had the right part of my neck. The venom glands reside in the neck and is the prime place to withdraw some from. Slowly I drew back the compressor and sharp blue liquid filled the vile. When the vile was half full I removed the needle and released the vile, handing it to Carlisle. The entire time he'd watched me with vivid interest.

"Extraordinary…I've never seen anyone do that themselves. You are very skilled with a needle."

I smiled, "Just had a lot of practice sir."

He held the sample in his hands, enraptured by it, "This will prove to be most interesting, I'm sure." As he placed it in his back carefully, with the thick file, his gaze caught the form on my bed. He raised an eyebrow, "A blood drive? I thought the students were vegetarian."

I picked up the form, studying it, "They are, we have a very strict policy. I should know, I wrote it myself and am responsible for anyone who doesn't follow it. No, the blood drive isn't for us to feed, that would be far too dangerous with the live donors walking around and sitting beside us in class. No, the blood is to replace blood we take from a local hospital, as an emergency store for any passing visitors who don't care for our diet. It's proved wiser to keep both varieties of blood on hand then simply keeping animal blood."

He gazed at the form once more, "Mmm, quite interesting. Would you need help with the donating?"

I looked up, shocked, "That would be…amazing, thank you! It would be brilliant to have someone with as much experience as you, and patience, helping with it all. Thank you Carlisle, thank you very much."

He smiled and kissed me on the forehead, leaving the warm ghost of the sensation with me, "Anytime Izzy, just call me when you have a date secured and I shall make myself available. Right, I really must see my children before I return to Esme. It's been delightful to talk with you Izzy. You've become a wonderful woman."

I feel silent under his warm compliments. All I could do was shrug and murmur a thank you to his kind words. He left to see his children, promising to see me again soon and I felt, for the first time in a long time, happy to have the Cullens here.

I sat on the bed heavy, eyes drooping. Loosing that much venom really took the fight out a gal. It was half an hour before Lucas knocked on the door, I didn't even bother uttering an invite, I knew he'd enter sooner or later. When he did open the door he stopped short, taking in my frame leaning against the bed post.

"Izzy! What's wrong? Did Dr. Cullen do something to you?" He fell to his knees in front of me, trying to look in my downcast eyes. I smiled reassuringly.

"No, no. I gave him a sample of my venom…maybe I gave too much…I'm not sure…" My words drifted off as I grasped for the thought. I closed my eyes and cuddled into the pole, "Maybe a little sleep…"

Firm hands grasped my arms, pulling me upright, "Oh no you don't. Ray! Get in here, and bring a pint!"

He held me in a stronger upright position and the bed dipped beside me. He pulled my head to the hollow of his neck gently but sure.

"Come on Iz."

I shook my head, fighting back, "No…"

I opened my eyes and glared as hard as I could, which wasn't very hard at all. He studied my eyes and surprise flashed in his, before sharp determination overtook them again, "You're weak, you need to boost your system, right now. Yours isn't going to do it fast enough."

I continued to fight, "No, I don't need it. The pint is enough. I'll be fine."

He took my firmly by the chin, "Iz, your eyes are turning."

Fear struck me. It was too soon. There'd been no signs. No, it wasn't time. Not yet. It couldn't be. There was too much to do. No!

I fell limp under his hands and rested my head on his neck. My fangs ached. The skin was soft and cool, and I could feel the venom sack beneath my lip. I didn't hold back any longer. I sunk my fangs into his neck and drew the thick liquid into my mouth. It tasted sharp but sweet, full and satisfying on my tongue. I bit deeper and Lucas winced, causing me to suck harder. I grabbed the back of his neck. Drew the delicious liquid into my mouth. So sweet. Just like blood. Blood…

I ripped away violently. My last thought struck me. Blood. Human blood. I know that's what I'd been thinking of. Prey beneath me struggling for air. The thick hot blood. No, I wouldn't be that person. I shook the thoughts from my head, disgusted with myself.

Ray entered the room as I was wiping my mouth and handing Lucas a wad of material to hold to his neck until the bite healed. He handed me the pint, confused but concerned, and went to attend to Lucas. I gulped the cool blood, enjoying the taste of the pig blood, trying to kill off the last memory of the bite. I shivered at my brutality.

"I'm sorry Lucas, I never should have bitten you."

He took my hand and tugged me towards him, resting my head lightly on his shoulder while he rubbed my arm, "Hey, I asked you, hell I even demanded it. Besides, it's completely healed now and you feel ten times better, right?"

I nodded.

"Good, see, everything's fine."

Ray fussed over Lucas's neck as I lent there, "What happened?"

Taking a deep breath I sat back up and inspected Lucas's neck. Completely healed, not even a ghost of the bit. I really must have been low to not leave a scar.

"I gave Carlisle a sample of my venom, I guess I drew more than I thought. Lucas was trying to help me boost my system."

Ray studied me for a moment, a look that said he'd be talking to me about this later. I offered a small smile but it did little to shift the look he gave me.

Lucas and I shared the pint as we walked to Trig together, the liquid thankfully hidden in a black sports bottle. We slopped through the doors and slumped in our seats next to one another, still chugging on the bottle.

Lucas leaned over and whispered to me, "Why do I feel like we just got scolded?"

I giggled in my seat and shrugged, stealing the bottle off him. At the front of the classroom Ms. Bond sat at her desk, reading a trashy romance novel. The whiteboard had a long complicated sum written on it and at the top is said 'solve it!'. And who said lessons weren't enriching! I flicked open my notebook and began to jot down the sum, trying to wrap my head around the mass load of numbers and shapes. What the hell was this anyway?

Over the other side of the room the Cullens, all five of them, sat staring at their own notebooks, bored out of their tree. Lucky bastards had probably done this sum a million times. Stupid old vampires. Jasper looked round and gave me an apologetic smile and for a moment I wondered if I had projected the thought. But then Edward would have heard it, so maybe not. Maybe my feelings made it obvious under the current situation.

It made me muse about how Edward would react to the knowledge that he would now be able to hear my thoughts if I wanted him too. Since becoming a vampire I had discovered I had my own ability. I had the power to shield. It meant I could create a shield around my mind and others', and form a physical shield in a certain space and use it to push someone back. I'd spent a great deal of time practicing my power, controlling it and learning to use it properly. Experimentation had allowed me to learn my limits of what I could do. It had let me discover that with the right power, working side by side, I could use another person's power with my own. For example Ray has the ability to manipulate the earth, encourage plants to grow, commune with the trees, which gave him advantages such as finding people who are lost or hurt. With my power I could push his further, allowing him to scan longer distances, or grow a field of flowers. You get what I mean. It's amazing how far our powers stretch, when you know how to hone them correctly.

_I wonder what extent our powers would reach to together, _I pondered gazing at Edward. When his neck twitched my eyes flew to my sheet guiltily, feeling stupid for staring. I tackled the math problem in front of me to keep my thoughts distracted and hoped the rest of the class go quicker.

When the bell finally rang I shoved my notebook in my bed and legged it out the door, sighing heavily, "Finally!"

Lucas followed me, groaning, "Trig is not my friend."

"Thank God that is over. Let's go dump our bags and meet the others. Oh, wait."

I backtracked to where the Cullens were walking the opposite way down the corridor. I raced after them, pulling to a halt in front of them.

"Hey, um, we're going to hunt. Most of the moon dorm is, it's sort of a tradition. You won't have any more classes today, we make sure we book them off. Do you want to join us?" I tried not to hop from foot to foot nervously.

Silence ensued. Jasper and Emmett instantly brighten and looked ready to accept, but Rose's face remained stormy and Alice looked hesitant and distant. I couldn't read Edward's expression, I didn't know what he was thinking. I guess the frustration went two ways. The question hung in the air and my hopes began to sink.

I signed, "Never mind, it was a stupid idea, of course you'd want to hunt privately."

Pulling my bag in tight to me I walked away, disheartened. I stared at the grey floor as I walked feeling stupid for getting my hopes up. They'd been hunting together for decades, there's no way they'd want to hunt with a crowd. Stupid, stupid.

Suddenly an arm wrapped around me, "We'd love to join you. I'm certainly hungry enough, haha!" Emmett's laughter boomed down the hall and the weight of his arm was a strange familiarity. Jasper nudged my other side and smiled reassuringly. I looked behind me and saw Rose and Edward frowning at us, and Alice teetering on the edge of them, unsure, staring after us.

"Don't worry about them, they'll come around. They're just...a little confused I think. It's a big change and you were the last person we were expecting to see here." Jasper hooked his arm through mine and I found myself walking to our hunt sandwiched, surprisingly happily, between the two men I used to call brother.

Ray smiled pleasantly at our company and we went to the store room to dump our bags. When we walked out the front door, heading for the woods, Alice was sitting on the low stone wall besides the steps. She looked uncomfortable, staring at the floor and wringing her hands. She looked up at us, nerves clear on her face.

"Um...do you mind if I come too?" she asked, chewing her lips.

Jasper left my side to take her hand and stare at her lovingly, "You always welcome my love."

She melted into his side, then looked at me for confirmation.

As we walked to the forest it struck me how distant Alice had been. I expected it from Rose, and there was the clear division between Edward and I, but Alice had been my closest friend, my dearest sister. I thought when I'd changed my attitude that she would be the first to warm to me, to re-establish our connection. But yet it had been the very person I feared would keep his distance the most who had taken the leap and grown to like me once more. Emmett was just an endless pile of love; it didn't surprise me that he had wanted to become friends again.

Perhaps it was the fact that we had been so closed, that we had shared so much that meant being that close again was impossible. Too much had been damaged between us. The thought almost made me whimper, the pain of her rejection suddenly fresh in my heart.

I snuck a look at her. Since she'd arrived here, even over the weekend, her cheeks looked less shallow and the dark smudges under her eyes were beginning to fade, little by little. It was strange, to know how ill she had become. I couldn't think why. Had something happened? Her and Jasper seemed so happy, more so than ever, it couldn't be that. But yet the difference had been frightening. In that moment, that thought, I found myself vowing to do anything to make sure she never looked like that again.

Before I knew it we were in a clearing with half the moon dorm. They stood around, merrily chatting, waiting for us to arrive. When we entered through some oak trees silence fell.

"Hey guys. Jasper, Alice and Emmett will be joining us today. You all know the rules, blah blah blah. Now bugger off and eat well!"

My family laughed at me and raced off into the trees. My small entourage followed me as I whipped through the undergrowth, expanding my senses. The scent of deep earth and wild flowers overwhelmed me and I sought to pin point more specific smells. Like second nature my instincts broke away from the smells of nature and tuned into the thick scent of a stag. A growl rumbled in my throat. My body strained to keep control, instinct told me to feed, I was weak and I needed blood. I raced faster, flying through the forest and as the animal drew nearer I launched myself into the branches above, skipping with ease from tree to tree. I stepped more carefully as I neared my prey, silently running through the trees. Beneath me a large stag grazed, strong solid antlers producing from his proud head. I salivated as I watched him, then shifted my weight, preparing to spring forth. I leapt from my perch and landed on the back of the stag. It bucked, trying to throw me, but my nails extended and dug into it's thick skin. I struck before it could buck me again. My fangs funk heavily into it's jugular. Blood bubbled into my mouth. The animal jerk under me and I clenched my hands, snapping it's neck. I fell limp and I drank hard and deep, draining the beast in two minutes flat.

When I finished I stood, looking at the lifeless animal at my feet. A sadness filled me momentarily, feeling the loss of it's life. I stroked it's fine haired head.

_Goodbye child. Thank you for your gift._

I took off back into the forest to find my sisters and brothers. I found Ray feeding from a boar two miles south of me. I leant by a tree and waited for him to finish, checking my clothes for blood. The great thing about experience with hunting is that you learn to keep the blood off your clothes. It's a hell of an inconvenience to get blood all over you clothes. It's a bitch to get out and walking around covered in blood never looks good. Thankfully my green skirt was untouched and my chiffon shirt undamaged. It had been a while since I'd been messy.

Ray mimicked the gesture I had with the stag and joined me by the tree. Taking the band from my wrist I pulled my hair into a ponytail, removing a twig that was lodged above my ear.

"Full?" I asked. He grinned at me, fangs on full display.

"Not a chance."

I returned his grin and took off into the trees with my beta on my heels. I took more joy in the run now that blood warmed my belly. The desire to take off my shoes and feel the soft earth beneath my toes was overwhelming, but I knew if I did I'd never find them again, and I particularly liked these flats. Vines with small white flowers wrapped around the old sturdy trees and blue song birds flittered above the trees. The wind brushed my skin softly; I revelled in the sensation of just running.

A roar rocked the forest. Ray and I looked at one another then took off after the sound. We flew into a clearing to find Emmett on top of his favourite prey – a bear. A huge, glorious black bear. Ray and I hung back, in the cover of trees, watching Emmett dance with his dinner. He sprang again and again, attacking the neck, slicing and ripping. The beast gave another roar before he sprang again, wrenching it's neck and it dropped heavy onto the ground. Emmett leapt on it immediately and began to drink, unaware of our presence. Ray and I regarded each other, impressed by Emmett's preditorial finesse. I guess decades of hunting brought a sort of perfection to the art.

Only when he was finished did we make our presence known. He loped over to us, wiping blood from his mouth, "You guys have some damn fine bears out here."

I grinned, "Only the best in Death Valley."

We hunted together for another good hour, sometimes joining others to take down a larger herd of prey or to share a large kill. The sensation of being surrounded by family was fulfilling, comforting almost. It was interesting to see our new members hunt, to see their technique and grace. Most of us were relatively young vampires in comparison so their experience and practice was intriguing to study. It was hard not to be in awe of the effortless power they used. Though I think it became clear we were staring after a while, so we had to quit it.

Only when the sun began to sink from it's peak did I break away from the hunting party. I said my goodbyes and head to the largest village in the reserve. I was well acquainted with the natives of the land and we had a strong friendship. When I had been given leadership of the Moon dorm and become responsible for the vampire student's eating habits I had quickly formed an understanding with the chief of the tribe. They knew of our supernatural nature and I didn't want the same unstable situation the Cullen's had with the La Push tribe here. We had been quite lucky, however, because it became clear when I approached the tribe that they were a brother tribe of the Blacks. Jacob had spoken to them on his end of things, having taken over from his father the previous year, and help create an understanding that we were safe to have on their land. Now we had a healthy relationship and I like to visit Issac often to keep him updated and see if I could help with anything.

It only took me minutes to reach the bustling village. When I walked from out of the trees I was greeted with the smell of fresh baking bread and people chatting happily. As I passed people I recognised I stopped to ask how they were. I was well received in the village and had made a lot of friends. One of Issac's little boys came running down the path and threw himself into my arms. I laughed and swooped him up.

"Hey little man! What are you doing out of school?"

He giggled as I kissed his nose, "It's teacher twainy day, 'member!"

I balanced him on my hip and smacked my head comically, "Duh, how silly of me. Hey, where's daddy?"

Sean pointed towards the vegetable patch on the far left of the village, "Cabbage!"

I laughed and walked over to the garden, looking for Issac. I found him wrist deep in cabbage, just as Sean had predicted. When I chuckled he looked up and grinned. He wiped his forehead which left a long thick streak of dirt on his face. Sean was in hysterics by this point.

"Um, you've got a little dirt, just here." I said, trying not to succumb to laughter too.

He grabbed a rag from his belt and wiped his face properly this time. I placed Sean on the ground and whispered to him, "Can you find me a pretty bunch of fire lilies to take home? They're my _favourite _flower."

Sean nodded eagerly and ran off as fast as his little legs could carry him. I grinned, watching him go in his dirty dungarees. When I turned back to Issac I caught him watching me with a small smile.

"What?"

He tucked the rag back in his belt chuckling, "Sometimes I worry you're going to steal him from me."

I rolled my eyes, "I'd never do that."

All he did was huff and begin to walk out the garden towards his house. I kept pace easily, though I knew had I been human I could have been jogging to keep up.

"So what's up Izzy?" Issac asked me, sitting at his table with two glasses of peach ice tea.

I looked at him innocently, "Can't I just visit my dear friend?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, not buying it, "Sure, you can, but you usually bring cookies when you're just visiting, and you obviously don't have any cookies."

_What is it with the cookies?_

"I'll remember that in future. How about I bring cookies and cake next time?"

He leant back in his chair, the wood creaking a little under the weight, "That would be acceptable, I guess."

I rolled my eyes again, "You're right though, I'm not just here for a visit. We've got 5 new students, and their parents, living on the reserve. They're already on the same diet as us, have been for longer than the existence of most of our students. Their parents live in the cottage north of the school. Carlisle is a very experienced and patient doctor and would more than happy to help anyone who falls ill. Esme is equally patient, she's an interior designer. I thought perhaps you could ask her help with the youth hall you're building."

Issac sipped on his ice tea for a moment, turning over the information. He tapped the glass thoughtfully, "And the students?"

"They're in no hurry to create any chaos or be of a hindrance to anyone here. They may…keep their distance. They're the Olympic coven, from Washington State, who created the treaty with the Black tribe. I believe they will avoid the village and contact with your people, for fear they will be in breach of a similar treaty. Old habits die hard, and they took a lot of care to maintain the peace with the Blacks." I told him.

"Vampires from your neck of the woods? So you're well acquainted with them?"

I grimaced, "Yes, I guess you could say that."

He drained is tea and clunked the glass back on the table, "Then I've got nothing to worry about. Friends of yours are friends of mine, but thank you for informing me, I'll be sure to let everyone know. Should they pay us a visit we will not be alarmed."

"Thank you Issac, we're in debt to your kindness."

His laughter shook the table, "I believe it is us who are in debt to you, or at the very least lucky to have such considerate predators living with us."

"We do make very strange neighbours, don't we?" I grinned in return.

Suddenly Sean came bounding in the door, both hands clasping flowers, roots and all. Chunks of dirt dropped to the clean floor. He thrust the flowers at me.

"I couldn't find da wiwies, so I got you bwuebews." He beamed at me, and I laughed, scooping him into my lap and kissing him loudly on the cheek.

"They're lovely, thank you, but maybe we should clean up all the mud, mm?" He hoped down and ran over to the broom, then attempted to sweep up the mess. It was actually spreading the dirt further around. I took the broom from him and began to sweep the dirt into a tidy pile, then swept it out the door.

Behind my back Issac sat watching me carefully, enthralled by my domestic activity. Only when I turned around did he blink and spring to life. He refilled the glass with more iced tea and handed a carton of apple juice to Sean.

"Izzy, would you stay for dinner?" He suddenly asked, stroking his son's dark hair.

I chewed my lip, thinking I should get back to the dorm and check everything was ok.

"We're having steak."

I prepared to reject the invitation, thinking of my responsibilities.

"It'll cook yours extra rare."

I fell for the bait, smiling at how easily he knew to win me over. Ray could take charge for the evening, besides, he'd expect me gone all afternoon anyway.

I stayed until the sun set and the moon began to rise in the sky. Issac and I laughed over dinner, watching Sean spoon beans into his mouth, getting juice all round his mouth. The steak was divine, perfectly bloody and rich. We curled up in front of the large hearth and talk for hours, Sean cuddled up on my lap. Issac told me more of Sean's mother, who'd died in childbirth, of how much she had loved growing her own vegetables and dreamed of children. I stroked the small boy's hair as he fell asleep, thinking of how sad it would be to dream of something and die trying to get it. To think of Sean never seeing his mother. It made me think of my own thoughts on children. I had been convinced I never wanted children when I had been in high school, but now I wasn't so sure. And now I couldn't carry a child within me. The irony was painful.

When I glanced at my watch it had gone 1am. Yawning I lifted Sean from my lap and carried him to bed. The quilt had been made by his mother, thick and sturdy. I wrapped it tightly around him, watching him cuddle into it and pop his thumb in his mouth. However bad the habit, it was still adorable. Stroking his hair one last time I kissed him on the cheek and went back downstairs, where Issac sat, gazing at the fire.

"Going already?" he asked, as I shrugged on my jacket.

I smiled lazily, "It is past midnight, Issac."

He stood, stretching like a big cat, muscles stressing the black t-shirt he wore. His dark eyes fixed on me, "It never feels late when you're here."

"Well, I am damn fine company." Laughing I pulled my hair out the band, scratching my crown.

Suddenly he was right in front of me, "Yes, damn fine…"

I looked up, surprised by his tone. His deep brown eyes bore into mine and his face was inches away from mine. My lips parted in confusion. He licked his own, eyes flicking to mine. Then they were on mine, soft but insistent. Like he couldn't find the air to breathe, like I was the air. His large hand held the side of my face, fingers buried in my hair. The other sat on the small of my back, pulling me close against him, fitting my form to his. For a moment I stood there stunned, unresponsive. My lips moved, trying to speak, to break free, but he took this for me kissing him back and deepened the kiss.

Lost for what to do I pushed back, hard. He staggered away from my body, breathing hard, looking at me in confusion. Then realisation began to dawn on him. Humiliation slammed into his expression. He sat down on the couch heavily, not looking at me.

"God, I'm…I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry. I just – I'm sorry."

I held my lips, shocked by what had just happened. What had just happened? I mean, this was Issac. He'd never even given me the impression that he liked me. Or had he. The smiled, the intimate touching, those looks. I thought we were just close, friends. God, I'm such a fool! I'd even been leading him on, giving all the wrong impressions. So stupid.

"Issac –"

He cut me off, "Don't, please."

I ignored him. Kneeling in front of him I tried to gain some eye contact, "Issac, I…I didn't know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so…so…I don't know, just how I was. I should have made it clear. I'm sorry."

He exhaled heavily, rubbing his hand over his face, "It was so stupid. I'm sorry. I just thought you might be, and you're so good with Sean, and it's so hard him not having a mother, and he loves you. Everyone loves you here, and I know you're a vampire but it just doesn't matter to me. You're so beautiful Izzy, such an amazing woman. I just thought…you could be my woman. My beautiful Izzy.

"I know who the Cullen's are. Jacob told me, a long time ago. I was confused about how you knew all that information about them and us and so I asked. I know who Edward is. When you said they were back earlier I panicked. I thought…I know how much you love him, I remember seeing it in your face, how much you missed him. I didn't want you to choose him."

My mood turned stormy as he spoke. Jacob was going to die for divulging that much information.

"I can guarantee I will _not_ be re-establishing my relationship with Edward Cullen."

Issac looked up at my stony voice. He frowned as I stood and grabbed my wrist, "What did he do to you?"

Maybe Jake hadn't told him as much as I'd thought. I shook him off, the urge to leave suddenly very great.

"Nothing."

He held onto both my arms and turned me around, then he took my chin in his hands and made me look at him, "What did he do?"

I stared into his eyes, the concern and protectiveness swirling around the darkness. Finally I stopped tensing against him and gave in.

"He broke my heart."

He stared at me for a moment, no doubt expecting something much more severe. The he enfolded me in a giant hug. After a moment I rested my head on his large shoulder and let him stroke my hair. When I pulled back her stroked my cheek and then kissed it lightly. I tensed slightly, wary after what had just happened, but then I relaxed under his tender expression.

"You're welcome here, any time of the day or night, if you need to get away. And I'm sorry, about, you know. Rest assured it won't happen again. I definitely understand now."

I bit my lip, the pain evident in his voice, "Issac."

He shook his head, gripping my arms, "No, Izzy. I won't lose you, our friendship is too important to me. And not to just me, to Sean and everyone here. We love you Izzy, and I won't lose you because of a silly mistake. So lets forget about it and please, keep coming here as normal. I couldn't bare it if I ruined everything."

His pain was so loud in his voice that I took his hand, "I wouldn't stop coming here for the world."

He beamed and his face transformed into a much younger one, very much like his son's. I squeezed his fingers then let go, "Now I really do have to go home. Thank you Issac, for your friendship, for just being you."

He walked me to the door and hugged me again then let me go. As I walked into the dark forest, melting into the blackness I called back.

"I'll be back with cookies and cake!"

By the time I got back to the dorm the lounge was dead and the halls quiet. I went straight to my room, dropped my bag at the end of my bed (it had been sat by the front door waiting for me) and began to strip off my clothes. I tugged on my Snoopy nightie and crawled into bed. I set my alarm for 5am and snuggled into the warmth, falling asleep thinking of dark skinned men and cookies.

_My eyes opened to glittering lights. The smell of pine overpowered my nose and I could feel dirt between my toes. Water clung to my skin in tiny droplets. My eyes slid sideways, escaping from the dancing lights and around me I saw the forest floor. Millions of bluebells. The earth smelt damp. The lights waltzed across the ground, spotlighting each flower, who danced to the rhythm. _

_Through a patch of ferns came a snuffle and I saw the nose a russet wolf peek through, sniffing. I reached towards it, smiling on the warm dirt._

"_Jakey."_

_He snuffled again, inching closer, nose in my palm. His eyes slid beyond me. I turned my head, slow and lazy. Beside me lay the glittering body, smiling gently. How odd that diamonds should smile. His hand took mine and I watch me stare._

"_My Bella, forever my Bella."_

_A rustle came from in front of where a lay but I was slow to look and missed what made the noise. Maybe it was Jakey. No, my hand's still on his nose. Maybe a rabbit._

_My toes sunk into the earth and I tried to remember why the man's words confused me. No, not confused…annoyed. The emotion was strange in such a still place. Why did it annoy me? I tried to remember who he was. I stared at his face longer, then his copper coloured hair caught the light and recognition fluttered through me._

"_Edward."_

_He beamed at me, sparkling lips parting to reveal white teeth and two long fangs._

"_My Bella."_

_I frowned again. Why did I not like that? Jakey huffed in my palm and I looked at him, feeling comforted by the fur under my fingers._

_Another rustle came from behind me. This time I moved faster, just catching a glimpse of red before it disappeared behind a tree. A bird. _

_Something wasn't right. Things didn't feel right. Why was I on the forest floor? How did I get here?...Who am I? _

_Something's coming._

I woke with a start, the last memory of the dream ringing in my head. Looking at the bright red digits of my alarm clock I groaned. Ugh, 3:52am. Dreams sucked.

Edward's POV

Sleep. God, it was bliss. It was so hard not to use up all the hours. It was just so amazing we could sleep. To feel so rested. To rest at all! I was really beginning to love this place.

As I lay in bed I thought of how dramatically our lives had changed since we'd started here. It hadn't even been a week yet so much had changed. I'd never felt so at peace with what I am. Maybe it was because the effects of being a vampire were far less here, we could do things a vampire shouldn't be able to do, but it felt like more than that. Sometimes it felt like I was drawing energy from the very earth around me. I guess that was possible, given the special qualities of this earth particularly.

I thought back to the first night we had arrived here where Izzy had transformed into…something. Someone. She said she was the land, the spirit of the land. And that she had been calling us here. But it just seemed too absurd that I couldn't quite grasp it, though I suppose it was a little silly to say that wasn't possible but vampires are. I guess I couldn't ask for more proof, I mean everyday was swimming with evidence that this land was, well, magic. The sleep, the sunlight, the food. How did we not know this place existed? Diane and Izzy must have worked so hard to keep this place secret.

I rose from my bed, throwing on a shirt and sweatpants, and then headed downstairs with a book. I found a smaller common room through a door off the main foyer, filled with couches and a small piano in the corner. The piano surprised me, I didn't know there was one in the dorm. My fingers itched to stroke the keys and for once I didn't deny the desire. I sat down on the cushioned stool and let my fingers drift lightly over the keys, nostalgia filling me. Pressing down firmly a soft note rose up to greet me.

"Do you play?" I nearly jumped out my skin at the voice. I hadn't even heard them enter. At the door stood a slight young woman, with rosy skin and strawberry blonde hair. She wore a huge fluffy dressing gown and bunny slippers and leant against the doorframe, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm sorry," my fingers fell off the keys, "I didn't mean to wake you."

She smiled sleepily, "You didn't. Lucas is talking in his sleep, I came down to make some warm milk."

The name sprung a bell. Lucas. And so did her face, thinking harder. I remembered seeing them at lunch with Izzy last week. It seemed having a human companion here wasn't uncommon.

"So you stay with Lucas here?" Curiosity burned at me.

She shuffled into the room and perched on the arm of a couch near me.

"Anyone is welcome to stay with their mate in their room. Izzy believes that everyone here has enough control to not be tempted into attacking the guests. So I practically live here all term."

I was stunned to hear her talk about it so head on, and to use the word mate, which often proved to much of a primitive term for humans. She seemed at ease in the lion's den it was slightly unnerving. Bella had never looked like that when she'd been around other vampires. She'd always looked cautious and scared. I remembered the day in we'd met James, Victoria and Lauraunte. She had been oozing with terror. Suddenly I was very unsure of what Bella and I had experienced. It seemed like a lifetime ago, a lifetime of heartache and pain. If she hadn't looked like that sitting in the most dangerous place in the world, looking like she belonged there, like it was her home, then had we really had what I thought we'd had? Would she have ever accepted me being a vampire fully? Had she looked that scared around my family?

Now she was a completely different woman. Now she was Isabella de Barbaron. A vampire, a woman made to lead. I was beginning to believe what she had said. Maybe my Bella truly was dead. I had thought I could bring her back out, prove she still lived, but I couldn't find a shred of her in this new woman. She spoke different, she held herself with true confidence and grace and she was no man's prize. Maybe I never would see Bella Swan again. The thought filled me with an aching grief that rocked me. I drew in a breath, vividly aware of how fragile my memories were.

The girl interrupted my thoughts, "I'm Grace by the way," She smiled warmly, unaware of my heartache, "Would you play, while I heat up my milk?"

She looked so sweet in her giant fluffy robe I couldn't refuse her. She snuffled off to the kitchen as I began the melody. A song that would express my pain and grief. I began to play Bella's lullaby.

My fingers remembered it well and it came flooding back to me. Sitting for hours composing the song, a bottle cap and moments with her as my only inspiration. The times I'd turned that cap over and over in my fingers, thinking of the next note. Her chocolate eyes, her flowing hair, her burning blush. Her floral scent, the sweet taste of her blood. The way she would gaze off into the distance while thinking of unknown things. Every feature, every habit, every aspect of her burnt into my soul ached with misery. Now more than ever I was convinced I had been mistaken. Me leaving really had been the best thing for her. This is who Isabella really was, who she was destined to become. I had simply stood in the way of that.

As the melody ended I closed my eyes, trying to hold onto the beautiful things I remembered. I couldn't hear the hob going in the kitchen anymore, I think Grace had long since returned to her mate. I began the lullaby again, closing my eyes and losing myself in my memories.

I didn't even realise Izzy was stood on the other side of the door.

* * *

Thankfully I only had one class today. I knew as soon as I was done with it I'd go hunt. I was beginning to regret not feeding yesterday, it had made me cranky and on edge. Though it was a welcome changed to find all my siblings in the same physical class as me.

Today was a workout. I wasn't exactly what the workout entailed; only that it was three hours long in a huge dance studio and whatever common sense told me the workout would be. A lot of students took the class, at least 30 in the studio already. My siblings and I had come dressed in exercise gear on a limb. We dumped out bags in a corner near everyone else's, along one wall and sat, waiting for the teacher.

I scanned the room, seeing if I knew anyone in the room. I immediately saw Grace chatting to Lucas across the room, and Ray sat a little way away from them. A good group of vampires I recognised from the dorm were already here and humans were arriving by the second. I noticed Izzy standing closer to the front, taking off her flats and throwing her long hair into a band. Avoiding my thoughts from earlier I distracted myself with my siblings.

Jasper seemed invigorated to begin the class, full of Alice like energy. Which was strange considering Alice seemed withdrawn and the excitement had seemed to drain from her over the weekend. Her cheeks weren't as shallow as before, but she seemed pale and distant. She didn't speak much anymore. Emmett looked unimpressed, he didn't take any dance classes and this was far too close to one for his liking, though I knew he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to do any sort of workout. To my left Rose sat, studying her nails. Since arriving we'd grown much closer, a closeness I hadn't felt with her since she had first changed. We both felt the animosity of the other students and Izzy's new found kindness didn't rub well with either of us, it was too suspicious. I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't give in and play house. I didn't want to give up, I didn't want to be best friends. There was too much going unsaid. It stumped me how Jasper and Emmett could just let it all wash over them and be her new best friends. It just wasn't that simple – even if I wanted it to be.

"Alright, everyone up and running, let's start our warm up." The voice came from the front but I couldn't see the teacher. I frowned but never the less stood and began jogging in a large circle with everyone else. We weaved in and out of people, sometimes over taking, other times falling back. Most people seemed to know the sequence so those who didn't copied them. We side stepped and rolled along the floor, stretched tall then kept running again. The patterns were easy to pick up and soon there was no need to look for the other students' guidance.

After 15 minutes of running a command came to move into our lines and so everyone split into a grid formation, each person in their own space to stretch and move in. and there, at the front of the class, facing us all, was Izzy. Confusion flittered through me, and then she began to talk.

"Alright everyone, keep running." She instructed, voice full of authority, running with us, "Most of you are well accustom to this workout class. For those of you who aren't this is an intense workout course that will last three hours a session each week. Every student is required to take this class, to keep you in shape and enhance your other classes. Outside of this class you will know me as, hopefully, a welcoming and friendly person, but while you are in this room, under my direction you will do as your told and if you don't like it you can take it up with the principal. There will be _no _cheating, of any description."

Her voice slid under the human limits of hearing and her lips moved too fast for the none vampire students to notice, "That means you can not use your powers or abilities as vampires within this workout, you are to participate on the same fitness level as your fellow human students. If you are caught cheating, and I will catch you, you will have to answer to me. And if that is not incentive enough you will answer to Diane who will remove you from this course and that will make majoring here impossible. Understood? Good."

I ran on autopilot but had to stop myself from letting my jaw drop. Her cold persona was chilling to watch but there was no denying that her authority was absolute. I swallowed hard and for the first time in decades became very conscious of how easy vampirism makes physical tasks. I watched every step I took, not wanting to be the person to incur Izzy's wrath…more so than usual. This harder Izzy was not someone I wanted to cross.

She then began to lead us through various stretches, so many that I lost count, one song blurring into another. I pushed muscles I hadn't paid conscious attention to since I was human. The workout certainly did what it was meant to, and I could see Emmett getting into the flow of it, despite the fact he hated dance. We rolled to the floor and sweated out way through 50 sit up and 50 press ups, then repeated cycles of the plank, held for a minimum of 2 minutes. She drilled us, hard and continuous, with little or no mercy, yelling for us to push harder, to keep in time, to straighten out legs, to point our toes and extend our limbs. By the end of the first hour I actually ached. Then the floor work began.

We moved into the corners or the room, the class split in two and standing in opposite corners. Then we set off on leaps across the length of the room. The difficultly wasn't just getting the scissor leap to look graceful but to not hit the dancers going to other way midleap. A lot of stumbles and panic ensued, causing Izzy to start the entire thing over, until we got it right. Then came combo leaps, where we scissor leapt then twisted immediately after into a barrel roll. The barrel roll brought a whole new run of chaos, people twisting wrong, landing poorly or forgetting how to do it altogether. Though these problems let me glimpse into the soft side of Izzy's teaching persona, where she patiently helped each person to execute the roll correctly, guiding them smoothly. By the end of the leaping section we were doing four different leaps in quick succession while moving through other leaping dancers and I found myself proud of accomplishing the task.

"Alright everyone, we're going to show our new students what were made of. You all remember the routines we did at the end of last year? Good. Now, everyone who is new to this class please come to the front of the class where you can watch. These are the sort of routines you will be learning as part of this class, to exercise you skill of memory and movement. Now, ready?" Izzy moved to the large music system and took the remote, then flicked through a few songs until she came to 'Bonkers' by Dizzy Rascal.

All the girls came to the front of the floor and moved into a formation. As the music opened up they lifted their heads and began to move, bodies popping with the base and it was evident they we taking the piss out of gangsters and crew dance, thought they pulled of the breaking dance with surprising power and finesse. They grabbed their crotch and sulked down low, pulling a rude boy face. Then the song slipped into another base, picking up another tune, which welcomed the boys onto the floor. 'Tik Tok' blasted through the speaker and the men moved together just as the women had, but their movements were much more fluid and almost…feminine.

Then it dawned on me, this routine wasn't about taking the piss, but broadening the mind of stereotypes and making opposites perform out of their comfort zones and battle the masculine and feminine restraints of dance. The guys grinded and allowed their bodies to flow in a soft rhythm, then threw it back into strong sequence. I was shocked by the effectiveness of the aim, and laughed as the men challenged the women with their feminine dance. The girls re-entered the floor and the track switched again, into 'Love Today' and energy burst across the floor, each person exploding with enthusiasm and confidence. As the song finally ended they froze in their final positions, breathing heavy.

We all clapped, impressed by their performance. They folded out from their freeze and dispersed for water, or to sit for a moment. Izzy clapped, "Brilliant guys, good to know summer hasn't made you sloppy." She turned to the 15 of us at the front, "This is the standard you will be performing at by the end of this term. By the end of the year you will be performing above and beyond what talent scouts expect."

She retrieved her iPod from the dock and announced the class was finishing early due to it being the first week for the newer students.

"I know for those of you who are new here you have yet to be informed of our Festival days. These occur the last Friday of every month and is a day of celebration and music. Each month has a theme, which you must stick to. Every student must contribute in some form and there must be at least one witness to this contribution, otherwise your efforts will not be valid. Any student who fails to participate without permission to do so will be forced to give a solo performance before the school, the following Monday. You are given a whole month to prepare, so no excuses. All themes are decided by a student vote, so no complaints that the theme isn't desired. I would advise you to start preparing and to decide if you want to join a group performance. If you have any questions the front office will be happy to provide you with answers."

She dismissed us, returning to her belongings.

Her voice suddenly filled the room as we left, "Billy, can I speak with you a moment."

A young vampire with surfer blonde dreads blanched and turned on his heel to wait at the front of the class. If could hear him being scolded for his 'cheating' down the hallways, before seeing him leave, clutching his bag tightly. Izzy exited the dance studio with Ray, mouth pressed in a tight line. She hitched her bag and strode down the hall with her second in command, each step rigid and angry.

When a vampire jumped out in front of her she looked fit to burst.

"Izzy, you'll never guess who just got back!" they cried excitedly, oblivious to her livid expression. Then, before my eyes, it slid quickly into confusion and out again, joy radiating from her. Who on earth could it be for her to be that happy?

I shook my head as she raced down the hall, dodging students. Emmett shrugged at me and we went in search of our next lesson.

Ray's POV

I kept pace with Izzy easily as she dashed through the corridors and smashed through the front door. A grin spread across her beautiful mouth and I felt a moment of jealousy, wishing I could be the one to cause such happiness. Then I shook my head, I knew she needed me more for my strength and love, even if it could only be brotherly love. I'd take what I could get.

I focused on her again, stopping short and letting her race the rest of the way to the black Honda that was pulling to a stop on the front drive. The door opened to reveal a beautiful young woman, with long silver blonde hair and creamy skin, smiling broadly under her sunhat. Izzy screamed with joy and swung her into a giant hug, spinning her round. The woman laughed and waved to me as she spun in circles.

I grinned at her, "Welcome back Elle!" I happy to see her home safe and sound.

When Izzy finally placed her back on the ground she smiled and took off her hat. Behind me Jasper and Alice stepped out into the sunshine to see what the commotion was all about. They watched as Izzy spoke with Elle merrily, taking her suitcase from the trunk of the car. She placed it on the ground and embraced Elle again, then pulled back to look at her, and kissed her deeply, her fingers buried in her hair. Elle wrapped her arms around her neck and moulded herself against her lover. When they finally parted they grinned stupidly at each other and made their way towards the dorms, hand in hand.

* * *

**I'm not sure when i'll be updating next, soon, i hope, but i really want to focus on the book i'm trying to write, so at the moment that's taking priority over this, sorry guys. But i'm not giving up on this fanfic, never! So stay tuned, i have alot planned for this story!**

**You see that button down there? Tell you a secret, that button has an amazing power. It has the power to make me a very happy woman! (Izzy: she's not lying you know, you should have seen the happy dance she did last time someone pressed it!) **

**Thank you to my faithful reviews and readers, i love you all!**


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